My Healthiest Relationship To Date Has Been With Google And Things Are Getting Serious Between Us

Illustration Credit: www.blogoscope.com

In late 2014, a close relative of mine suggested I download the Google opinion rewards app.

For anyone who is unfamiliar, the app uses your location to learn your consuming habits and then sends you short surveys asking about your most recent visit to specific businesses, as well as about your use of certain Google owned products and apps. Participants are paid between ten and ninety nine cents in Google Play Store credit for their responses.

I have built an entire digital library based off of this application. Google enabled me to acquire books, free of charge, that have completely deconstructed and re-engineered my entire line of thinking. Rather than leave you with the same cliched’ list of book suggestions that ninety percent of today’s writers tend to, i’ll instead leave you with one I considered most formative and relay who I got the suggestion from.

James Altucher had Rick Ross on his podcast a few years ago. Not the rapper but the notorious drug lord Rick Ross. Rick suggested the book ‘As A Man Thinketh’ by James Allen.

I immediately found it on Google Play for ninety nine cents and happily purchased it with credit acquired via Google Opinion Rewards. The book turned out to be 42 of the most influential and mind shifting pages I would ever read.

I strongly recommend this book to just about anyone but especially to those with pessimistic or negative thinking tendencies that would like to work on changing such destructive patterns.

Google, James Altucher and Rick Ross helped save my life.

I frequent Youtube throughout the day. Both before and after running in the morning as well as before and after I sit down to write. For anyone that may not know, Youtube is owned by Google.

Before running I watch short whimsical and motivational videos to get me moving.

My Nike Running Club App uses Google Maps to track my runs as well as show me GPS pinpointed trails of where I ran. After running, i’ll sit down and watch an interview or talk of someone I respect or strive to be like, the people who are doing or have done the things I want to.

When writing, I typically use Google Documents for my rough drafts or as a launching pad to get thoughts and ideas flowing. When all else fails, I just open a blank document and start typing.

When i’m done writing, I almost always use Google Images to find an appropriate picture for whatever I wrote, at least if it’s something I plan to publish.

My dumb friends and I often get into senseless heated debates over issues such as “What year did the movie ‘The Sandlot’ come out?” and “How the fuck is Puff Daddy worth $820 Million dollars?”. Google has spared us so many fist fights over the arbitrary and random, I could not be more grateful.

Google has taught me that Dame Dash, the former co founder of Roc-A Fella Records, is currently worth negative two million dollars. There is a valuable lesson in ego and ignorance that we all can learn from that fact and I have Google to thank for such.

I can even speak to Google now or hire it as a virtual assistant for the one time cost of roughly $150 if I should choose to (although, I’d have to lay off Alexa and frankly I don’t want to hurt her feelings).

Google never argues with me or picks fights, however it does correct me when i’m wrong in a very passive fashion. I’ll ask it something and if I worded it incorrectly it simply asks “ Did you mean this instead?” It essentially knows what i’m thinking before the thought has even wholly formed in my mind.

Rather than make me guess where it may want to eat like every woman I've ever dated, it instead throws endless suggestions my way until i’m satisfied and then provides the fastest route in which to get there.

At this very moment, I am writing this on a Google Chromebook and in Google documents. Before I most likely transfer it to Medium, Google will underline any words I spelled wrong or that it feels doesn’t fit.

The book suggestions alone that Google’s Play Books has suggested to me, based off of others I’ve read, have proved to be of infinite value to me. I owe everything I am and have to gratitude, God and Google.

Now, if only it could show me how to commit to a woman the way I have to it as well as to writing and running, I may be able to die an unhappily married man.