Phases of being Unemployed?
An adaptation of a quasi-satirical journey of dealing with the different phases of coping — maybe I am in the 4th Stage! :D
I have been reading allot since I was laid off. While being aggressive on the job hunting front, I have had to keep my mind busy. When you are working you have routine, you have the wild-fires that always pop up that seem to fill the day. When those fillers are gone, what do you do to fill the time? There are only so many jobs you can apply for, and let’s face it. When you have been applying for 4–6 hours a day, you need to keep the mind churning on thought provoking, stimulant driven content. Thus I read, allot.
Since I have been home from my LDS Mission, I have been unemployed maybe twice. So this journey is a infrequent one for me, and I hope to be very short lived in this instance. However, let’s discuss the phases.
1. The Idealistic Phase
You were trapped in a job that wasn’t something you liked much, and now you are freed and your dreams are now suddenly attainable. Your days are now filled with vision boards, meetings with friends to discuss your potential future.
2. Questioning Your Standards
It’s been two weeks and you haven’t quite gotten as much traction as you thought. You question if you set your sights too high, and are toying with the ideas of dramatically lowering them. You are not quite panicked, but you can see it from your office chair. While most of your time still is on Indeed and LinkedIn, you are tempted to start searching on Craigslist for some part-time work. You note that some of these jobs are pretty sketchy, but you think that “Hey, at least it’s better than no money coming in at this point.”
Here are a few Craigslist Job Postings I found in SLC:
a. Part-Time Wedding & Event Assistant
b. Supplement Packer
c. Superstar Appointment Setter
d. Sanitation Workers
3. Total Freak Out
I assume this phase will culminate when I have reached out to every friend, their friends, and their friends, and that Cousin’s brother’s Sister’s Cousin that you couldn’t connect on LinkedIn, Facebook of a genealogy. You start to think maybe your time has passed, you are too old and maybe this is a sign from God that you’re not cut out for the working world.
I imagine that in an effort to save money, you rarely leave your home and consume a steady diet mainly comprised of canned beens and processed government cheese. You find yourself becoming a shut-in and having sparse face-to-face interactions other than your LDS ward, working friends, so you become very intense and every conversation means a lot to you. If someone gives you helpful advice, you perceive it as a personal attack, and you analyze it for hours.
Example: Jeff thinks I should customize my cover letter for the different jobs that I apply for?! I can’t believe he would have the cojones to say that to my face!
I would also imagine that online movie streaming would become your major hobby and you would start to find yourself re-watching comedy episodes because the canned laugh track would buoy your spirits, it would comfort you and help you to feel less lonely. That’s a good thing right?
I would also imagine that you might be so desperate and start to rationalize ways to save even more money and you convince yourself that you don’t need to shave. You won’t work again and you convince yourself with a hold out razor, and that last bit of shaving cream for the “Break in Case of Interview” glass for that dream job interview. You further rationalize that your wife really finds you irresistible when you look like Grizzly Adams.
4. Borderline Concerning Self-Deprecation Humor
This I imagine would be at the 3–4 month stage of being jobless. You are starting to get comfortable in your situation. You are now not aware of just how bleak it is, but somehow you are comfortable. Your humor takes an introspective bender and is more and more depressing. Some of your friends start to comment and talk about how self-deprecating your jokes have become.
Example: Your phone starts to ring several times at a social function
Friend: “Hey man, are you not going to answer you phone, it’s ringing?”
You: “Oh, it’s nothing, nothing important… Oh, wait, I am the one with out a job!”
Friend: Laughs, awkwardly… Looks at you like you have a third eyeball and then slowly, looking back over his shoulder so the crazy person you have become isn’t following him in a mad rage.
5. Relief?
I assume this phase can only be achieved when either you hit the Lottery, or you land a job. I can only speak hypothetically as I am in the midst of Phase 2. I do however close my eyes at times, and imagine getting a job will be filled an overwhelming sense of relief, maybe a tear or two (don’t judge :D), a telephone call or two and then some notifications on LinkedIn, Facebook and the many thank you tweets and emails to friends who stood with you until you got here.
I think of the return to the office at the new job as your getting used to your new routine will I forget all of this weird, awkward time in my life, and the times as you scratched your head and wondered why those unemployed youth, who just couldn’t get it together.
But wait there is More!
It won’t be long before things go in an unexpected direction, and you find yourself again on this awkward unemployment sojourn. And when that time comes, I have a couple of pieces of advice: I have a couple pieces of advice: drink up with a cool beverage of your choice and don’t scrimp on the shaving. No matter how long you think it will take to get a job, you can afford the razor and shaving cream, and you wife doesn’t like Grizzly Adams that much even if it’s in your mind.
