Have you been cheated on?

Wednesday May 18, 2016 11:27pm

Have you waited on the one you love,

to come home to you,

Look you in the eyes, and say ‘I love you’?

Did you wait later and later each day,

still waiting for your love to come home,

your life pulsing through your veins into your brain

making you crave the love that might walk through the door,

While he is out fucking other men?

I have.

It entrenches me.

I carry it around like a patch sewn onto my skin.

It hurts me. I see it on my naked body,

Stitched on carefully by the one to whom I gave my love.

I feel it under my clothes,

I feel it when I turn over in my bed.

The bed that has hosted so much

love, passion, anger, grief.

This patch he has sewn onto me so tightly

Might not always be visible. I can cover it,

With layer after layer of clothing. I can

Clean the wounds that opened as he stuck his needle in me,

Breaking my skin, allowing the liquid of my vitality to escape

From its prison.

Breaking my mother’s creation with his hands and his words.

When the bleeding stops and the blood begins to clot,

Scar tissue forms around his mark on me.

Scar tissue, made out of some of the most brilliant cells.

Cells that are created to heal and mend.

I pick a scab, painfully peeling off what is protecting my wounds.

I feel the pain I so crave when I slowly peel off the scab,

And the familiar feeling of my life draining from my body

Begins again. It felt so good when he did it to me.

That blood reaches the surface and creates a new scab,

That I peel off as soon as it hardens.

We never speak a word again, and that’s my choice.

The wall of silence must stand strong,

So I keep picking at the scabs I have accrued.

The pain is so familiar it is almost nostalgic.

That which keeps me alive, I allow to leave my body.

I will always wear this patch. It is mine now;

I decide who sees it, who touches it,

When, where, and why.

My identity is forever altered.

The blood I have lost will never come back.

But this patch is mine now.

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