The Complete Guide to Becoming a New Soccer Fan (An Introduction)
In no time, this comprehensive guide will take you from confused casual to superfan (sans the topless, shirt-spinning celebrations)
Whether you caught the World Cup hype bug, saw Neymar’s mazy dribbles against a backdrop of seizure-inducing EDM music on Youtube, or have a football-crazed boyfriend whose favorite (and only) hobby you wish were less confusing and boring, you’re not alone.
Football is gaining traction among young Americans, and it’s one of the fastest-growing spectator sports in the US. According to this 2017 Gallup poll, Soccer’s popularity among 18 to 54-year-olds is comparable to basketball and even bigger than baseball.
But even as a massive football fan of 6 years, I admit that there are all sorts of roadblocks preventing curious casuals from becoming fanatics.
First, there are the rules:
“Why was he offside there?” (Because the linesman is in absolute shambles)
“That’s a foul? He barely touched him.” (Yeah, but he didn’t NOT touch him)
“What makes that a handball?” (We’re trying to figure that one out too)
Then, there are the 30 to 50-year-old rivalries:
“Wait, you’re telling me that Man United wants to lose this game to Man City?”
“How can fans hate each other that much? Is it really just about football?”
And don’t forget the countless memes:
“Why the hell does everyone keep talking about Messi and Stoke City?”
“Seriously, who is Emile Heskey? Was he some sort of God-incarnate?”
If you’ve ever considered jumping on this bandwagon but need a push to make the leap of faith, read this guide and I will teach you everything you need to know to understand and appreciate the beautiful game. This will include (but is not limited to):
- When/Where to watch the matches
- Difference between La Liga, Premier League, and Champions League
- American fans’ most common faux pas
- What players and referees really say to each other on the pitch
- What those numbers mean on the backs of players’ shirts
- What makes terrible, great, and ridiculous goalkeeping
- The greatest players, teams, and coaches throughout history
- Home and Away rules in European competition
- Difference between a box-to-box midfielder and a holding midfielder
- How difficult it is to become a professional footballer
- The issue of racism and fan hooliganism
- The media’s relationship with footballers
- Tactical Philosophies
- Offside and other various rules
As someone who started from the bottom (clueless American) and now is here (watching and analyzing football on a daily basis), I feel especially qualified to take you through this journey, which I promise is worth it. Moreover, I’ve written over 50 soccer articles for the now-defunct TheSportsQuotient in the past few years.
I had all sorts of questions when I first began watching, and I’ve made more than my fair share of dumb*ss comments about the game on Reddit. So I sympathize with your confusion and will strive to educate you with understanding, patience, and empathy.
That being said, here’s your first lesson. It’s called FOOTBALL.
F-O-O-T-B-A-L-L
/ˈfo͝otˌbôl/
Football.
Got it? Okay, on to the next one.
