Does this have to be this way?

I never thought I’d actually be faced with this situation. Not because I didn’t think it was possible for us to end, but because I did not think I would have been lucky enough to have met you. I’m not naive — I’ve always known how fragile we could become; however, I also saw and felt the immense strength and commitment we have for each other survive and thrive through tremendous challenges in each of our individual lives and together in our relationship. I hope that you still believe in our love, that you still love me, that you still have the need for me that I do for you.

I’m sitting here with tears welling up in my eyes as they prepare to spill over once the dam walls of my tear ducts overflow. I’m trying to tell myself that the surprise you left me on my office wall during the beginning of 2014 is still true nearly 1 year later. With all the things that you and I have conquered on our own, overcome together as a couple, shared in each others successes and grown closer together and I know for me anyway, much deeper in love than I ever imagined possible.

I cannot possibly bear the idea of saying goodbye to you, especially over this. This childlike argument, a misunderstanding of semantics, a bicker over words is petty and so disgustingly minute —we are better than this, we’re stronger than this.

There are so many seconds of time left in life that I wish to spend with you, countless good times that I wish to celebrate and relish with you in each of our lives. I cherish each and every moment that you waddle up in between my legs and spread them out to give me a hug, the precious times just sitting on a couch with my arm around you watching tv or sitting in silence. I remember one night where we sat on a park bench and laughed, cried, snuggled and shared — please don’t let this misunderstanding make each of us go our separate ways.

I’m sorry for reacting in a way that was not positive, that was a reaction to what I thought you meant, that was said by you in stress and heard by me in stress. I’m sorry for countless things, I’m hopeful for the future I work for and plan with you, to come home and share with you. I’m sorry for the mistake that I made of not asking for clarification, I wasn’t thinking clearly. It wasn’t right, I simply was accepting what I thought you desired based on what you had said, and that’s a wrong both of us committed —the ending of us shouldn’t and certainly doens’t have to be a mistake too.

Please stop fighting against us, I’m trying my best. All I can hope is that it’s enough. Please just take this leap with me, for us.

I love you, I hope that you will still say I do.