Missing the Magic

Like most families, we love photos. We do selfies, we do videos, we instagram, and most of all we love doing family photo sessions. Well, sort of.

To begin with, let me set the stage. It was a cold and cloudy day that we piled into the SUV and headed out for our most recent family photo shoot. It had already been a long day by the time we got there, but we absolutely love the work that Blue Vinyl Photography does and were ready for them to capture our family. We were tired, we were chilly, and we had three rambunctious children (and one on the way) that didn’t want to be quiet, keep still, or smile on cue. We did everything we could to make them stand up straight, look at the camera, stop making each other laugh — all the usual parent stuff — but to no avail. We couldn’t understand why our photographer, Jessica, just kept shooting away. Could anything be salvaged? Were there any shots where they weren’t pulling a face or looking away or being loud?

When we got the files from the shoot I was astounded. There I saw my family, represented perfectly. I saw each of their personalities — I saw what I want to remember about them at this stage of their life. And then I saw “the photo.” The one that made me suddenly realize how much I was missing.

This one:

If you want to know who my children are, you need only look at this photo. Liam’s goofiness and “ham it up” way of life, Asher’s lanky joy, Pippa’s give-it-all-I-got exuberance. And then you look to the right and see two parents that are stressed out that the kids are too wild. Those parents are missing the magic. And those parents ruin the shot.

I wanted them to keep still, to not mess up their hair or clothes, to look “nice” for the pictures. Yet it was I who made this picture one that I can’t frame.

I’m realizing something about myself as a dad. I so often look to the external aspects of my kids to see if I’m a decent father. Now don’t get me wrong — looking at the external isn’t always bad. “You will know them by their fruit” came from Jesus’ own mouth. And behavior is certainly important. But Jesus also said,

“first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.

When I look at these photos I see children that are full of joy and imagination, children that love having fun, children that know they are loved by God and by their parents. Going forward I hope to spend less time worrying about how many questions they ask, or how loud their voices are, and a whole lot more time washing the inside of their cups with the word of God. I don’t want to care too much about the wrong things. I don’t want to miss the magic.