but it’s probably the one you needed.
My older sister and I have this on-going habit when we are looking for advice from the other.
Not exactly advice, but more so validation.
We shoot a text saying, “Can I ask you something?”
And before the other has a chance to say, “yeah, sure” (it’s always a yeah, sure), we’ve already begun feverishly typing out our angsty complaint about a situation we are needing guidance on.
Or simply to rant and need someone to validate the rant.
Sort of like engaging with the friend who always agrees with you, or asking them without asking them to agree with you.
The situation is usually something where we might have been in the wrong, or feel like our feelings weren’t validated, and want to confirm our reaction was valid.
The friend we need to agree with us, even if it doesn’t sit well.
Sometimes it’s valid. But most of the time it’s not.
We are gentle with our responses. We give a thoughtful response, “I get how that would upset you.” or “Yeah, that would bug me too.”
But we always end with a dosage of reality.
The reality check we didn’t want to hear, but probably need to hear. And without fail, we end the response with “I’m not sure this was the answer you were looking for.”
Knowing full well the listener on the other side of the screen needed it more than ever.