What I learned from Meditation This Week Pt 1

Brian Persaud
Sep 1, 2018 · 2 min read

Meditation is really hard. It’s so easy for me to run to my smart phone to take myself from facing what’s going in inside my mind. I feel so addicted to my damn phone sometimes.

Inside my mind is flurry of thoughts, feelings and emotions around not ever feeling good enough. I’m a bad father, bad brother, bad friend, bad husband, bad realtor etc etc.

I feel running to my phone for a social media fix or reading some silly article keeps me away from facing these feelings and keeps them having power over me.

When I hold baby Brie, i feel that urge to run to my phone very strongly. Maybe that urge is my coping mechanism for dealing with the anxiety in my chest and the awful thoughts I have that come when I’m quiet with her. I can’t imagine what kind of life and example I will give her if I don’t deal with this baggage.

My goal with meditation is surrender to these feelings. Lean in, open myself up to release the pain, overcome the anxiety and learn to let go.

I don’t have time to go to the mountains for a 10 day silent retreat so this is my solution for myself: Ensure I practice whenever i can. Especially when holding baby Brie.

Set timer for 25 mins and stare at Baby Brie
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