Kettah
Your boyfriends have noticed she is beautiful. It is a fact! Her forehead, one that the slay queen neighbor next door is dying to have, is punctuated with numerous award winning wrinkles. Her ayes are surprised ovular organs. She has eyebrows,bushy near the bridge of the nose, then fading to the left and to the right.And then she has a beautiful crescent smile and two forced dimples.
It is her, Kettah, my best friend!
Our relationship started in 2017(maybe.) It was those days when she was still choreographing the dance moves of ‘self love’ and reading the book of Mathew.
We met on Facebook after a heated debate on a comment section where another kalulu, Sharon, was involved. The two almost skinned me, asking grammar questions, reminding me of my intellectual intimacy with diphthongs and phonetics back in Samoei Boys Secondary School,where we shared an English Contest.
It is funny how people meet. Forget your half baked hallmark, Netflix or HBO movie encounters, the reality slaps different. I have known people for over a decade, some we have dated and even broke each other’s hearts but we have never met. And some, for unknown reasons, are still hiding in the closet, hoping that I will surrender the quest of meeting them. These are the kinds of Fiona and Aggie, whose thighs derriere have had sleepless nights over. And although they are in the same Geo-location with me, meeting them has proven to be the hardest thing. This is not a behavior under the belt of Kettah.
Coming from the ribs of Kapsabet town, we had a vibe. Once in a while we met in town, ate nothing in a restaurant, hug not and then take a photo or two, to keep a memory we will later laugh at.
She loved this green trouser, one I believed might have been shipped from Germany. In many occasions I enjoyed seeing her in that trouser, ass so small no one would notice but her smile,hers was heavenly!
Over the years our friendship has grown in many ways. I have seen her walk in this relationship and get vomited to another. She has always thought of me as one person who has never been lucky with relationships. What a shame?
I have observed her fall in love with road trips, hikes and marry wild flowers. Her thirst for adventure is more than that of a Kevo in quest of new coitus postures.
One day, Kettah visited me at Canaan Estate. It was a crazy evening after a class with the ever strict professor X. We were doing Cyber culture studies and boy, I hated that unit.
While in a matatu back home, there were a half a million equations in my head.What if she doesn't have fare and I only have seventy bob? What if I don’t get a place to host her? How would I admire Sage Chemutai’s beauty without her noticing, in case we share the same bed? Shaka!
However, there must be a connection between her and the conductor, for after three smiles and a filthy sympathetic look from her,she was pardoned.This confirmed my first fear, she didn't have fare.
And whether you believe it or not, Nairobi ‘makangas’ do not just pardon you. if they do, it is either you share a Whatsapp group and you are the admin, or they were your partner in the before life. You know reincarnation right?
That night she blessed my hoofer with Seventh Day Adventist (SDA) songs. I prepared her world class indomie and an avocado, which was very expensive by the way.
My bed was surprised that once in many years, it had a feel of a soft bum. The house was probably shocked to have a new sweet scent in the house. And my neighbors were all over my DM congratulating me for making such a move! Although I loved these shenanigans, I knew deep down in my heart there was nothing between us. I would later brag of how the night was wild.Then forget it, and continue admiring Sage Chemutai, hoping one day she will walk out of my phone gallery, kiss me and post it on Instagram. What a dram?
Years have passed and the friendship has materialized to be so strong than your two weeks relationship.But don’t worry, such internship opportunities are vital in your future life. I hope you find a lover and walk out of the bracket I am in- being unlucky with relationships.
Every time I text Kettah and she doesn’t respond I get mad. Like woman, do you know how much i have invested in this relationship? then i got into a pub, order two litres of Minute Maid and drown my sorrows.Then in regret I recite Langston Hughes poem, I loved my friend;
I loved my friend/He went away from me/There’s nothing more to say/The poem ends,/Soft as it began/I loved my friend.
Then when I have decided to move on, find another friend and marry her, she calls me, “Khavalajiiiii, unaezakam tao tumeet?” which loosely translates to, can we meet in town?
I will meet her. I will not hug her because not showering for a long time is my hobby. She will buy me silly fries at a cafe i cannot name for now. I tell her I eat at Altona and we promise to visit it soon.Then corona happens, I get heartbroken and miss her some more.
My Kettah!
