Suicide Notes of Hope: August 2017

“Just Listen”

“When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem. Listen…all I ask is that you listen. Not talk to or give advice; just hear me. I can do for myself. I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering…but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel the way I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and get about the business of understanding what’s behind the irrational feeling. When that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make more sense when we understand what is behind them. Perhaps that is why prayer works sometimes for some people, because God is mute and He or She doesn’t give advice or try to fix things. They just listen, and let you work it out for yourself. So please, listen, and just hear me. And if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn and I will listen.” (Our House, 2013)

We can all relate…