The Knife in my Kitchen

My worst millennial habit? The frozen section at Trader Joes and the hot bar Whole Foods. I use excuse “I don’t have time to cook” so often that I’m thinking of adding it to my Tinder profile. Also, I’m thinking of adding “Great at Skillfully Heating Pizza” to my skills section on Linkedin

So, my knife. Three years ago I bought a pretty nice knife. Like, it cost more than all my IKEA dishes, flatware, and cooking supplies combined. It’s gorgeous; you can see the bends in the steel and the grain in the dark hardwood handle. I thought to myself this is it, this is the moment I start shopping, chopping, and cooking.

And for a week this worked out great, until the crisper drawer started filling up with unused, unfresh, produce.

My fridge is a place good intentions go to die.

The knife spends its time cutting frozen pizza.

I now know all the names of the chefs at Whole Foods.

Hilary Clinton for president.

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