Turning Trauma into Superpower
A Hello! Magazine article recently wrote about how Law and Order: Special Victims Unit actress Mariska Hargitay “turned her trauma into her superpower” when it came to losing her mother, the famous Jayne Mansfield, to a fatal car accident in 1967. Following this tragedy, she overcame many more obstacles such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and crippling financial issues.
I am a huge Mariska Hargitay fan. Not surprisingly, Captain Olivia Benson is my favorite character on Law and Order: SVU. I think that Hargitay does such a stellar job at playing Olivia Benson because she can relate to the character. They have both overcome adversity and are social justice-oriented, strong-minded, compassionate, empathetic, and intelligent. It also does not hurt that they are both Ruth Bader Ginsburg fans (look closely at Captain Benson’s office décor 😊). Their ability to turn their trauma into superpower is the virtue that resonates with me the most. We can also turn our trauma into our superpower by consciously choosing to allow it to motivate us to become better people and be a force for good in the world. Here is how we can do that:
· Become More Empathetic
I once came across a quote that said, “Empathic people aren’t born that way, they’re made. Their souls have experienced so much darkness but despite it all, they found a way to turn their lessons into light. These kind souls have chosen softness over hardness. They know compassion and tenderness are needed more in the world.”
The most empathetic, compassionate, non-judgmental, and inclusive people are usually those who have been to hell and back. We can learn from our perpetrators by analyzing how their behavior was problematic and subsequently trying to behave in the opposite manner. For example, if we came from a family who did not accept us for who we are and did not listen to us about our emotional needs, we can become more unconditionally loving, inclusive, and understanding people.
Too often, people unintentionally emulate their perpetrators. This causes them to develop into the spitting image of their perpetrators and the pain patterns to perpetuate. We can break the chains by learning and evolving from the painful experiences in our lives. Hurt people do not have to hurt people.
· Become Overachievers
When I was in 6th grade, I decided that school year was going to be different. Instead of disliking school and only achieving good grades to evade discipline at home, I decided to embrace school and achieve good grades for myself. The driving factors behind this decision were to be able to create a better future for myself, feel a sense of achievement, and avoid becoming like my family members who were imprisoned by their addictions and painful pasts. I maintained that mentality from that point forward, and it has led to great places.
Mariska Hargitay once said, “You have to show up for your life.” We must show up in all of our affairs (e.g. school, work, family, friends, hobbies, service projects, etc.) with an enthusiastic attitude and a commitment to put in our best effort.
When I talk about “overachievement,” I am not talking about perfection, overexertion, or workaholism. None of us should take on more than we can handle. We simply need to show up with a zest for life and always do our best.
· Make a Positive Difference in the World
Mariska Hargitay makes a positive difference in the world by portraying a character who is an excellent role model for women, becoming a rape crisis counselor, and starting The Joyful Heart Foundation to support survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. I try to be the best person I can be by being honest, transparent, and kind. I believe that one of the main goals of life in this earth school is to make the world a better place than it was before we arrived here.
We do not have to become a famous television star, start a foundation, or enter a helping profession to make a difference in the world. We can simply make positive differences in this world by being a shoulder to cry on, an ear to vent to, holding the door for people, fairly tipping our waiters, picking up trash on the ground, and donating to important causes. If everyone tried to make small differences in the world, the world would be a much better place.
· Be Willing to See the Deeper Issues in Life
Post-traumatic growth can allow us see life from a higher perspective. We should not get caught up in the superficial thinking of the world that includes materialism, rigidity, divisiveness, prejudice, and resistance to change. Rather, we should look at the deeper issues of life such as achieving happiness, health, harmony, love, peace, and a world that works for everyone. Life is not black and white. Many issues that seem like life and death today will not matter tommorow. When we look beyond the surface, we realize there is more to life than what society obsesses over. The truth of life is born through trauma.
