My Mental Health (thankfully, I’ve weathered this storm before)
It’s day three of our trip to Breckenridge, Colorado; I’ve tagged along to help Linda with her “Jewelry Art by Linda” exhibition at the art show that Breckenridge hosts every year during Labor Day weekend.
Breckenridge is a long way from home, and on the first day, we drove eight hours to arrive at the art show on time. We checked in to our Airbnb, and on day two, we slept in and picked up snacks and groceries from the local market before setting up the exhibition.
It’s day three, and I’ve just dropped Linda off at her art show. Sitting in our rented condo, I recognize the slow, creeping signs of depression beginning to crawl across the darker recesses of my mind.
My depression is mild compared to those who genuinely suffer from such a condition, and my heart aches for those who struggle to live in such a darkened state. My circumstances are self-imposed, and my recipe for disaster generally flows from:
Fatigue
Frustration
Intense feeling of inadequacy
Thankfully, I’ve weathered this storm before, and I have journal notations going back thirty years or more with helpful hints to myself and steps to move myself back to a calm state. I can now perform what used to take weeks of recovery in a day or two. Here are my symptoms and the steps I take to overcome them.
Fatigue
“Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” (1) Vince Lombardi is often given credit for this quote as a sign hung in the Green Bay Packers dressing room with the excerpt; however, George Patton wrote a letter containing the words, and others feel it is a paraphrase from William Shakespeare. Regardless of the origin, my first symptom is usually fatigue. I just finished three weeks of training, and my trip to Colorado is for a week of rest before starting my next training phase. I completed a max aerobic fitness test the day before leaving.
Fatigue Solutions
Acknowledgement that rest and recovery will make all the difference. Naps, healthy food choices, hydration, and sun help to speed recovery.
Fitness trackers help quantify the acknowledgment. I woke up on day three with a Whoop recovery score of 31% (red) and a recommendation from Whoop to take the day off and recover.
TrainingPeaks application and software validate these fatigue levels to help me acknowledge my need to pace myself.
I maintain a written list of things I have noticed when I am fatigued, i.e., mental acuity is low, and mental fog is common. I point out that I should be mindful of making recommendations at work, and it is not a good time to make changes at home. My list reminds me that “frustration is the theme of most activities.”
Frustration
“The fact that we know it — and that it doesn’t get translated into the fabric of our daily lives — is the frustration of the gap between the compass and the clock.” (2) ~ Stephen R. Covey
My primary manifestation of this symptom is the frustration of the gap between where I am and where I want to be. I used to call it “reinvent the wheel.” I have journal entries complete with ALL CAP rants at myself. Thankfully, I also have suggestions for improving these feelings over time.
Frustration can also manifest through work, weeds, doing dishes, clutter, and a general lack of organization; all can pile on a toxic overcoat of feelings, shutting us down.
Frustration Solution
Q: “How does one get motivated to do these things?”
David Allen: “If I had the magic key that could guarantee that it would get you motivated, I’d be the king of the world (which I’m not!). I have been in the state you describe, and I think I know the feeling that nothing seems worthwhile to do. It is just a feeling, however, and feelings can change. The problem is, when you’re in that feeling, you see the world through that lens, and nothing is attractive. I’ve found the best way to change that filter for me is physical movement. To get my butt in gear about something, even the littlest thing, like walk around the block.” (3)
The best thing I have done for the frustration problem is taking a “Free Day.” (4) A day to do what I want and only what I want, i.e., no errands, shopping, or to-dos. I combine a Free Day (Friday) with physical movement such as hiking or peak-bagging to gain the best of both worlds. A word of warning: it can take as much as an hour of walking down a trail to detoxify the mind enough to enjoy the experience.
The critical thing to avoid during this time is wholesale changes to your life, surroundings, workflow, or anything else, thinking you can dramatically improve your situation if you try changing just one thing, i.e., “reinvent the wheel.” I’ve destroyed hundreds of project hours thinking I found a better way, only to find it wasn’t any better, and now I’d lost the very thing I had been working on. Reading, making notes, and trying new things are okay; don’t delete anything.
Inadequacy
First, let me say I love my life. But unfortunately, that hasn’t always been the case. Early in my adulthood, I read a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Nature arms each man with some faculty which enables him to do easily some feat impossible to any other” (5) and the movie “City Slickers” didn’t help with the iconic scene of the rugged and weathered Curly (Jack Palance) holding up his index finger “One Thing” to the befuddled Mitch (Billy Crystal).
Inadequacy Solution
I never found my one thing. Not that I haven’t been looking, I have; I’m still looking, just not nearly as hard as I once was. The concept of being the best at something led to years of frustration and an eventual conclusion that Theodore Roosevelt was right; “Comparison is the thief of joy.” (6)
Somewhere in my search, I discovered a remarkable life. I’ve walked on the Great Wall of China and stood atop the Arc De Triomphe in Paris. I’ve eaten crab at Fisherman’s Wharf and cliff-dived into Lake Powell. I played horrible golf at Saint Andrews (Jubilee Course) in Scotland and kissed the Blarney Stone of Ireland. I went heli-Skiing in Canada and ate New York cheesecake in New York (I was pretty good at this one, way above average). I’ve been whale watching and on camel rides.
I know it’s cliche, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to appreciate the fallacy of the “one thing,” I’ll settle instead for the journey, living one day at a time and putting one foot in front of the other. (7)
I hope you enjoy your journey. Finding peace of mind with our efforts isn’t always easy; however, constant change doesn’t always move us forward. Acknowledgment, rest and recovery, being kind to ourselves, and living to move forward another day will propel us forward faster than trying to muddle through.
Written September 8, 2023
Editorial assistance by Grammarly.
While coffee may not be my cup of tea, I do have a passion for beautiful jewelry. If you enjoyed reading my article, I invite you to visit Jewelry Art by Linda, where every piece is lovingly crafted by hand with meticulous attention to detail.
Published simultaneously at Linda’s Brick Barn.
Footnotes and References
(1) Fatigue makes cowards of us all: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/4281-fatigue-makes-cowards-of-us-all
(2) Covey, S. R., & Merrill, A. R. (1993). “First things first.” New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. p.73.
(3) Allen, David. (December 13, 2009) “Finding your motivation” GTD Times. DavidAllenCo.
(4) White, Jennifer. “Work Less, Make More: Stop Working so Hard and Create the Life You Really Want!” John Wiley, 1999. p.97.
(5) Emerson, Ralph Waldo. “Wealth.” _Ralph Waldo Emerson_, retrieved 18 Jan. 2021, emersoncentral.com/texts/the-conduct-of-life/wealth/
(6) Cummings, R. (1922). The Girl in the Golden Atom. New York: Harper & Brothers. p. 111.
(7) My blog essay “My Wonderful Life of Mediocrity.”
