Health - Do I Really Need It More Than I Need A Doughnut?
In the immortal words of someone whose name I’ve forgotten, “We spend the first half of our lives trying to kill ourselves, and the second half trying to live forever.”
Ever have one of those days where you say to yourself: “I’m 67 years old, and I’m not in all that great shape?” Me too. Today, in fact. It’s not that I don’t eat well, I do. It’s not that I don’t work out, I do. It’s just that these things are hard to do not only for the usual reasons, but also because of the insatiable appetite of the M&M twins, Media and Marketing. We are constantly barraged with “newly discovered secrets your Doctor doesn’t want you to know,” and other gems that are guaranteed to “make your jaw drop!”
Eating well. I suppose I do that in moderation. Egg white omelettes with extra cheese. Those two sort of cancel each other out and become a neutral, right? Whole grain toast with butter, because even though for years margarine was good for you, now it’s not. I make myself a big pitcher of veggie/fruit smoothie that I have with each meal. The base for the smoothie is unsweetened white grape juice, plus water. I then add beet, tomato, spinach, banana, strawberries, frozen blueberries, and the new miracle food, kale. For years, I thought the only reason kale existed was to provide a lush food-related doily for your burger to rest on at classy coffee shoppes with wholesome names. According to the latest info, kale is actually good for you.
This is the hard part. Depending on what I read, or what my “helpful” friends read, every time I think I’m getting close to leading a healthy lifestyle, the rules change. Although you should eat lots of fruit, because it’s good for you, fruit juice is fattening, so it’s not good for you. So, I take fruit and make it into juice. Should I drink it, or pour it down the drain, or should I first have my friend read up on what’s safe to put into our overworked sewage systems, and have her tell me not to use my sink?
Exercise. At my age, I need to be more careful, even though I still feel 16 years old. It’s possible to endanger your health with exercise, and in fact I did that very thing today. My wife was lamenting that she couldn’t go out and do her walk because it was raining. I told her to suck it up and called her a Snowflake. Luckily, she laughed, and subtly reminded me that I hadn’t done my free-weight workout in a while. I’m pretty sure that’s what she meant, because she used the word “dumbell.”
I decided it was a good idea to do my weight workout, because it would put me on the other side of the house for a bit. As soon as I picked up my weights, I got the idea for this blog post. I put the weights down, picked up my notebook, and jotted down an idea. Picked up the weights again, got another idea, put the weights down and jotted again. This went on for quite some time, which was a workout of its own, and a new experience for me to be caught between the two worlds of workout avoidance and writing avoidance. I wonder if it had anything to do with the magic and mystery of the solar eclipse today, but I’ll never know for sure.
I finished my workout, feeling guilty as usual, because I don’t “plank,” don’t use one of those big balloons with a handle, and am on the fence as to which is more important, cardio, or core strength.
Tomorrow, I’ll do my walk. I alternate days, weights and walk. I eat better than I used to. I do what I can, after sifting through the myriad miracle cures for mortality.
And, I’ll continue to make and drink my veggie/fruit smoothies until my friend finds an article saying that the speed and friction of the blender blades causes a chemical reaction in the sugars turning the smoothie into a big glass of Aspartame.
(Post Script) My wife, who is also my editor, wanted me to change “because it was raining” to “because of the strongest monsoon in recorded history.” In the spirit of accuracy, I refused. I’m now on the other side of the house exercising again. What a dumbell.
