Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*How to Speed Up BaseballMLB is introducing a 20-second “pitch clock.” Good start, but if it wants a really fast game it needs Paceball ™Feb 27, 2019Feb 27, 2019
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*I Have Discovered the Source of All Chaos in the WorldI have discovered the source of all chaos in the world. All wars, all conflict, all strife. It is little boy energy at bedtime. Little boy…Feb 20, 2019Feb 20, 2019
Brian FarnhamThe Kamikaze HeartA personal exploration of family, war, and the burdens of storytelling.Feb 13, 2019Feb 13, 2019
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*How to Waste FoodSo I have this really elaborate ceremony for throwing away food. It’s really more performance art than anything else. Take eggs, for…Feb 7, 2019Feb 7, 2019
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*The Moment You Understand Why You Had KidsWe yell. We get so frustrated. We roll our eyes and look heavenward and pray for an end to the chaos. (Whether we believe anyone occupies…Feb 7, 2019Feb 7, 2019
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*The Bedtime Survivor’s JournalParenting is a harrowing expedition, never more so than when the lights go out.Feb 7, 2019Feb 7, 2019
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*A Brief Recap of Trump’s State of the Union Address Last NightFor those who missed it and/or are short on time, here’s a summary of Trump’s #SOTU speech:Feb 6, 2019Feb 6, 2019
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*Family Meeting: Little Jimmy’s Shooting SpreeOk everyone, I’ve called this family meeting to address the recent shooting incident in our home. As you know, two days ago Jimmy once…Feb 15, 2018Feb 15, 2018
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*Your Shoe Request Cannot be ProcessedOne of the great linguistic mysteries of our time remains the magical properties of a certain English phrase. The phrase seems common and…Oct 7, 2016Oct 7, 2016
Brian Farnhamin10 million bad ideas*The Dream of the King (Mattress)When you’re in college, you sleep on a twin mattress, and it’s adequate for supporting bed spins and awkward hookups — but you dream some…Aug 11, 2016Aug 11, 2016