The story of Perv

There was a boy named Perv. He was raised in a poor household where three square meals were infrequent. Their feeding routine was structured according to what I refer to as The 1–0–1 in juxtaposition to the 0–0–1 formula. They only ate in the evening; they skipped breakfast and lunch and sometimes they only ate in the morning and evening. This youngster was raised in a setting where poverty was the norm and words that evoked a mindset of deprivation dominated their conversations. The words “we live just the way we were created and there is nothing we can do about it,” which his parents frequently repeated to him, as well as the things he observed influenced his perspective about life, success, prosperity, and wealth. He could not, therefore, approach life with a mentality that made him a winner. Because of these circumstances, he was unable to fulfill his potential and he ended up just as ordinary as his parents. This happened because he didn’t change his mindset. He lacked a growth mindset.

Did you grow up like Perv?

We all have diverse upbringings, life experiences, and backgrounds and they shape the mindsets we have now. Some of us are the way we are because of the way our mindset has been molded throughout our lives by various situations, words, and experiences. Consequently, it is necessary to adopt a growth mindset.

You might have heard as a child that you are inferior to someone else in a certain academic subject, sport, or talent. You’ve had this belief your entire life. After all, you have been told this often. Parents and teachers among others told you that you weren’t as skilled in a particular field as someone else. Maybe they even called you names and all these created a stronghold of thoughts in your mind. Some people while they were growing up heard defaming which in turn now affects the way they see life and approach it.

Experiences, words and our environments create either the wrong or right mindset. For many people, the environments they lived in, and the words they heard from parents and guardians succeeded in shaping a negative mindset. For a youngster, all he or she heard while growing up was “you are so dull”, “you cannot amount to anything in life”, “you are a child of sorrow” and all sorts of things. Those words will certainly affect such a child as he or she grows up. Parents must take note of the kind of words they speak to their kids because it can alter the course of their life either negatively or positively.

Our circumstances, words, and experiences all influence whether we have the proper mindset or the wrong mindset. Many people’s bad views were influenced by the surroundings they grew up in and the things their parents and other adults told them.

Do you know?

“A growth mentality is predicated on the idea that you can cultivate your innate traits via your efforts. Everyone can develop and change through application and experience, even though people may differ greatly in their starting abilities, aptitudes, interests, or temperaments”


You have to apply yourself each day to becoming a little better. By becoming a little better every day, over some time, you will become a lot better.” — John Wooden

“You’re in charge of your mind. You can help it grow by using it in the right way.” — Carol Dweck


Nearly 30 years ago, Stanford University’s Dr. Carol Dweck made the first mention of the influence of mentality. The way students viewed failure piqued the interest of Carol Dweck and her team.

The phrase “growth mindset” emerged as a result of research into students’ and children’s behavior. Simply expressed, having this attitude entails believing that you can improve via effort, and support from others.


There are two distinct mindsets that humans can have, according to Carol Dweck. They are a fixed and a growth mindset.

What Is a Fixed Mindset, Exactly?

A “fixed mindset” refers to the idea that a person’s characteristics and traits cannot be changed. They dearly believe that intelligence and other qualities are simply what they are and cannot be altered.


What Is a Growth Mindset, Exactly?

Dweck defines a mindset as a person’s internalized self-perception or “self-theory.” A mindset is the idea that you are either “intelligent” or “unintelligent.” Additionally, people may have a mindset that is relevant to their personal or professional lives, such as “I’m a terrific teacher” or “I’m a poor parent.” Or “I am just so ugly”, “I look so bad”, or “Nobody likes me”. According to Dweck, people’s mindsets can have a significant impact on learning success, skill development, interpersonal relationships, career success, and many other aspects of life.

A “growth mindset” refers to the idea that a person’s abilities and characteristics can be improved over time. They think that by working hard and being dedicated, intelligence and other skills may be acquired over time.

A person with a growth mindset is aware that they can constantly learn more and become better versions of themselves. Dweck contends in her book that there are two attitudes about failure that, in the end, determine your success. Those with a fixed mindset believe that aptitude and ability are constrained, and they feel dejected when they experience failure. Failure is the end of the world for some people, according to Dweck, “but it’s this fantastic new opportunity for others.” Those with a growth mindset believe success is determined by time and effort. This kind of mindset encourages learning, development, and expansion. It stirs up the desire to grow and flourish irrespective of the situation. People with a growth or an open mindset embrace challenges, overcome doubts, and obstacles, learn from criticism and seek out inspiration in others’ success.

People with a growth mentality believe that hard work and perseverance are the keys to success and are energized and willing to take on new tasks and risks.


A fixed mindset is when you tell yourself, “I can’t do this because I am not naturally gifted to do it.” To this same problem, a growth mindset approach would be to say, “I will do it by learning how I can go about it”

A fixed mindset would say “I am interested in affiliate marketing but I CANT do It because I don’t know how to sell” while a growth mindset would say “I am interested in affiliate marketing although I don’t know how to sell, I’ll take courses that will teach me precisely on how to sell”.

A fixed mindset would say “ I cannot pass that English course because I have been poor in English right from high school” while a growth mindset would say “ I am not good at English but I’ll do all it takes to pass that English course”

A fixed mindset would say “That’s just who I am, I can’t change it” while a growth mindset would say “I am a constantly evolving work in progress”

This vividly shows two perspectives on life. One is ever ready to stretch, and improve him or herself but the other just takes everything in life the way it comes.

Perhaps you’ve found yourself feeling envious of others who are more successful than you. Perhaps you envy them and harbor a grudge against them. With a growth mindset, one way to see this same reality is to find how those people can serve as an inspiration to you.


It is unlikely that you will develop a growth mindset overnight. It will take time and effort to train your brain to see your life and the world in a new light. When you are learning something new, it can take some time to break through old habits. To develop a growth mindset, thoroughly go through these:


THE First “I”

Influence of Words and affirmations

Your choice of words can make or break your positivity. Your choice of words affects the way you think and see yourself. Your words create a mental image and it, in turn, determines what you make out of your life. Your language has an impact on how you see yourself, your potential, and your expectations. As a result, successful people learn how to polish their language and remove negative connotations.

What are the best ways to harness the power of words?

Make use of words that make you feel inspired and which help you to stay conscious about constantly being able to develop yourself and expand your horizon.

Conversely, consider how you can change things up when you see speaking styles that don’t assist you to promote optimism and a growth mindset. Look for terms that describe the life you want to create in place of negative phrases like “can’t,” “never,” and “shouldn’t.”

Instead of using phrases that represent a state of mind you don’t want, choose positive ones. Say “I am ……… “rather than “I’m not .” Delete the “not” now.

If only perv had tapped into the power of affirmation

When you say the same words repeatedly, your brain reacts. Whatever you tell your brain to create whether worry, ease, tranquil, or frustration, it will do.

Repetition catches the brain’s attention. The more often something is stated, especially aloud, the more probable it is that your brain will pay attention. Your brain is trained. It’s comparable to learning how to make use of a computer. Every time gets a little bit simpler with practice. The same is true for words. Positive language purposely said more frequently causes your brain to store it there. This is why mantras are very effective.

Have you ever attempted to break a habit? You momentarily put in a strong effort before reverting to your usual, old behavior? It makes sense because the brain processes things more quickly in the old manner it has been programmed.

Affirmations can also be created and said aloud as a potent tool for using language to promote a positive and growth mindset. Affirmations help you achieve your objectives. You can utilize examples like the following that specifically address a growth mindset:

“I am becoming better and better every day.”

“It only gets better and better for me.”

“I learn more and more and I am not hooked up to my past experiences.”

“I am never confounded when I face problems but I am a solution to other people’s problems”



People who do not succeed have one distinguishing trait in common. They know all the reasons for failure and have what they believe to be air-tight alibis to explain away their lack of achievement or growth mindset.

Some of these alibis are clever and a few of them are justifiable and they are facts. Irrespective of the reasons you have for not reaching your potential, they can be improved upon and you can mount up and forge ahead irrespective of the reasons you have.

Think of it, some people had the same reasons and even far more than you have and they still became prominent and successful people. These reasons are not enough to keep you stagnant. If you had been without your current reasons for failure, you would still have come up with other ones. Its true life might have treated you badly, everyone has received his or her share of what this fallen world offers but it’s still not enough to keep you in one spot. It’s time to grow up. Your background does not have to limit you.

Stop these statements, a growth mindset will either look for a way to move beyond all these and not keep emphasizing them or stating them as enough reasons for not advancing. A growth mindset sees all these as stepping stones and challenges to work harder and move from story to glory.


Never allow any of these in your affirmations.

“IF I only had money

“IF only I had a good education

“IF only I could get a job

“IF only I had good health

“IF only I only had time

“IF only times were better

“IF only people understood me

“IF conditions around me were only different

“IF only I were younger

“IF only I had someone to help me

“IF only I were born rich

“IF only I were not born in Nigeria ”[OR YOUR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN}

“IF only my talents were known

“IF only I had the capacity of some people

“IF only I were brilliant and intelligent

“IF only I can make it

“IF only I came from a better background”

“IF only nothing happens to stop me”

“IF only I would not fear what people would say”

“IF only I had a better brain”

All these will kill your growth and rip you up from development and expansion.

Additionally, you must engage the power of your words because it helps you to maintain a positive mind. It helps to engraft in your vocabulary words that are capable of making sure you are always improving.


1. Consider the aspects of your life you’d like to improve.

2. Create credible, attainable affirmations. Ones that are based on reality

3. Turn negative thoughts into good ones by using affirmations (note a persistent negative thought and choose an affirmation that is the opposite).

4. Write your affirmations in the present tense and focus on who you are right now rather than a hazy version of yourself in the future.

5. Affirm it with emotion! Your affirmations have to have personal significance for you.


Using positive self-talk and repeating positive messages to yourself will help reinforce a positive attitude.

Create six positive affirmations that will help you succeed in your pursuit of a growth mindset, job, and life. Make sure to use positive language and to speak your affirmations in the present. Personalize and make your affirmations meaningful to you.






Maybe you should add one more.


Every day, read your affirmations and make any necessary changes. Particularly when you’re feeling down or overloaded, practice them. Your expectations, attitudes, actions, and eventually your performance will alter and align when you repeat your affirmations enough times for them to sink in.


The Influence of Reading and Learning

Reading can be really helpful if you want to develop a positive outlook. Reading can foster psychological development in a variety of ways, in addition to sharpening your mind by expanding your vocabulary and understanding.

For one thing, there are fascinating studies that demonstrate how reading can increase our capacity for growth and a positive mindset. When we read, the horizon of our mind gets expanded. We begin to see things in a better way. It helps us to expand the eyes of our hearts and helps us to see our situations and experiences positively. When we read, we frequently have to change our point of view, and the more adept we become at doing this, the easier it is for us to maintain a growth mindset.

Reading has tremendous power because it introduces you to novel concepts. Reading encourages you to question ideas you might otherwise have regarded as standard. This motivates you to change by assisting you in reexamining and replacing outdated beliefs that are no longer beneficial to you.

Finally, reading about other people’s successes might inspire you and serve as a reminder that everything is possible and this inspires a growth mindset.


Try reading a brief success story once a week for a month and you’ll see that your mentality improves. Read regularly, books that can help you to maintain a growth mindset. In case you don’t know what to read, you can contact me, I’ll put you through what to read and what not to read. The same way some books will help you get better is the same way some books are poisonous. Don’t limit yourself to reading, you can also listen to inspiring content. It is very important that you check what enters your mind via what you see and hear.


Influence of your relationships and associations.

There’s a great saying: you become like the five people you spend the most time with, choose carefully.

Find positive friends, mentors, and co-workers to support and encourage you

Your network of friends, your friends’ friends, and their friends’ friends all have an impact on you. The widely discussed book “Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Shape Our Lives” by Harvard professor Nicholas Christakis, M.D., Ph.D., and James Fowler, Ph.D., a professor at the University of California, San Diego, made this phenomenon, known as social contagion, famous. Similar to other types of infection, social contagion spreads from one person to another. However, social contagion spreads behaviors, norms, and emotions rather than infectious agents. Every element of our everyday life is impacted by the relationships we make. They are the ties that bind us to determine how we feel, what we know, who we marry, how much money we make, whether we vote and what we generally make out of life. They constantly impact our decisions, behaviors, ideas, feelings, and even our wants. Our relationships go beyond the people we know, too. Friends of friends of friends can initiate chain reactions that finally reach us, much like waves from faraway locations that wash up on our shores, outside of our social scopes.

This is why we must keep only people who help us see the importance of a growth mindset. Don’t keep friends that are stagnant in their views about life. Value associations, and friends that see life as something that can be improved upon. They must not be people who are shortsighted about life, they shouldn’t be people who always come up with the 20 excuses listed earlier. They shouldn’t be people like “perv” mentioned earlier.

It is time for you to expand your horizon

Are you going to start making changes and start moving away from your comfort zones or do you still want to remain locked up in beliefs, Ideas and still be in that fixed mindset.

Do you want to be a success or a failure? Now is the time to work, the set time is here. Consciously and voraciously implement all you’ve learned in this article.


Any impulse of thought which is repeatedly passed on to the subconscious mind is accepted and acted upon by the subconscious mind, which proceeds to translate that impulse into its physical equivalent, by the most practical procedure available. You must be careful of what you hear, watch, see and the affirmations that come out of your mouth.

look at it this way

The subconscious mind accepts and acts on any thought and impulse that is repeatedly transmitted to it, and it then uses the most practical method possible to transform that impulse into its physical equivalent. You must be mindful of what you hear, see, as well as the statements that you make.

Adopting a growth mindset can drastically alter your career, academic life, and life in general. It is a mindset that allows you to become who you want to be rather than settling for a life that isn’t fulfilling. Although it may take some time, a growth mentality can significantly alter your profession, your academic life, and your general way of living. Instead of settling for a life, you don’t find gratifying, this viewpoint enables you to become who you want to be. The ability to view the world through a malleable lens rather than a fixed one can take some time to develop, but you’ll find that it grows easier and easier over time.

In my coming articles, I’ll be talking about the mindsets and beliefs we must change in different areas of our lives.

Do you want to develop a growth mindset? Do you have things that have constantly made you locked up in the shackles of life? Let me know how I can be of help to you. Message me HERE

Has knowledge been passed? Did you learn anything? Will you implement what you have learnt?



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