37 Questions with Vogue: A Dynamic Duo
Lily and Jackson* and I all sit in a coffee shop. The iced coffees are collecting condensation, leaving a scattering of rings on our bright green table. Lily strictly drinks almond milk in her lattes. Jackson likes oat in hers. They are a dynamic duo. They may or may not live together. I may or may not be their third roommate.
37 Questions! Are you ready?
L: Yes!
J: Uhhh. (She laughs.) I’m scared!
Don’t be! Just speak, don’t think. It’ll be fun! Favorite smell?
L: Hmm. Clean. Clean vanilla.
J: Coconut.
Do you like kombucha?
L: No.
J: Yes!
What’s the first word that pops into your head?
L: Hmm…
Are those hickeys on your neck?!
J: Hickeys!
L: (She laughs.) Nooooo. They’re from the gym. Scratches. (She clears her throat.) My word is scratches.
J: Stress. (She giggles and looks at her computer. Lily’s eyes widen. School starts tomorrow. We’re all worried.)
You have to get rid of one bone in your body; which one?
L: Middle finger.
J: What the hell are these questions?! Pinky toe.
L: Wait, lemme change mine. Are their bones in your ears???
No, just cartilage.
L: Middle finger, yeah.
Do you get lonely easily?
L: Absolutely.
J: Ummm…yes. Definitely. And then I just start crying. (She giggles. I throw her a look of pity, then laugh myself. Agreed!)
Are aliens real?
L: (She pauses.) Yes.
J: Like, you know, I think they are. Eh. Maybe.
What’s your love language?
L: Physical touch. Gift-giving, too.
J: Definitely, I’d say quality time or hmm, maybe touch too.
Biggest fear?
L: (She stares at me.) Centipedes.
J: OH, YEAH! And we have them in our house sometimes too…
L: God, don’t remind me. (She shudders.)
J: Dying.
What’d you have for lunch?
L: Bagel. Pickles.
J: Wait, pickles on the bagel?!?!
L: Noooooo! On the side!
J: Nothing.
What song is stuck in your head right now?
L: Carolina by Taylor Swift.
J: (She knows we all know the answer to this.) Runaway.
Who was your first kiss?
L: Oh gosh, Ben.
J: Tie-dye.
Tie-dye?!
J: We called him that because he always wore this ugly tie-dye shirt.
Carmel or caramel?
L: Carmel.
J: Carmel.
Opinions on clowns?
L: Hate them. Castrate ALL of them.
J: They make me think of the movie It!!!
You have to get a tramp stamp. What is it?
L: Butterfly.
J: Honestly? I would get a butterfly too.
Are you afraid of getting old?
L: No.
J: (She looks down at her computer.) I need my glasses! (She looks up.) Terrified, like one of my worst fears, like keeps me up at night. I feel like this is very Lana Del Rey of me.
Best season?
L: Autumn.
J: Agreed. Fall.
Favorite day of the week?
L: (with enthusiasm) Wednesday.
J: (not so enthusiastic) Friday.
Least favorite day of the week?
L: Tuesday.
J: Monday.
Do you believe in ghosts?
L: Yes.
J: Yes.
Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
L: Crunchy.
J: Creamy.
What would you tell your thirteen-year-old self?
L: Manifest, manifest, manifest!
J: Nooo, not the manifest!
L: I thought I was so trapped, but look! (She smiles big.) Now I’m here!
J: To not be depressed! (All three of us laugh. Maybe that hits a little too close to home…)
Three wishes from a genie but they HAVE to be one word:
L: Wealth. Contentment. Abs.
J: Love, happiness, and uh…
Orgasms?
J: Orgasms. Yeah.
Thoughts on zodiacs?
L: Duh.
J: Oh yeah, duh.
As a kid, what was your dream job?
L: I think I’ve always wanted to be in the FBI. (She smiles.) When I was in kindergarten, I had this ‘lil pretend badge. (Her fingers form a square. Her acrylics are long and pretty. I think they might be pink.)
J: Pediatrician.
What motivates you?
L: Hm, maybe the anxiety of deadlines? (Hitting close to home again!) I just be shaking.
J: Anxiety. Good people.
Ever snort like a pig when you laugh?
L: Ummm…no.
J: Oh, absolutely.
You’re an animal in the zoo. What are you?
L: Tiger. Wait, that’s too much. (She’s thinking.) Maybe a jaguar — calm but assertive.
J: You’re a snow leopard.
L: I fuck with that.
J: I feel like I’d be a panda?
L: No. (She shakes her head.) A penguin.
J: You think so? (She sips her latte.) Yeah, I agree.
Be honest: do you pee in the shower?
L: Yeah.
J: I used to. Not anymore.
Do you believe in soulmates?
L: Yes and no. No! Maybe! (She points.) Can you put maybe?
J: Yes, but I think that there's a bunch of soulmates out there for you. There are just SO many people in the world.
What about love at first sight?
L: (She giggles. It’s a giggle that you give when you like a certain someone.)
L: Yes.
J: I would say yes, but I’m skeptical. (She pauses to think.) Love at first attraction seems more accurate, I’d say. It’s like, you only know someone on the surface, how could it be love?
L: For me, I’d say it’s more intuitive.
Favorite word?
L: Squink. (She won’t elaborate.)
J: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Least favorite word?
L: Amenities.
But you work at a spa???
L: THAT’S WHY!!! Amenities. Amenities. Amenities. Over and over again.
J: Moist.
Do you believe in God?
L: No.
J: Hm. I believe that there is a higher power, yes. God, I do not know.
What languages do you speak?
L: English and American Sign Language!
Can you sign something for me?
(She signs. I give her a blank stare.)
L: I like to eat sushi…and where are we right now?
Uhhh. The coffee shop?
L: Yes!
I like to eat sushi and drink coffee?
L: Yes! Good!
J: English and a teensy bit of Spanish.
Tell me something in Spanish.
Pasame el pavo, por favor.
What?!?
Pasame el pavo. (She giggles.) Turkey. Pass me the turkey! Get it, ’cause it’s almost Thanksgiving? (Lily and I look at each other.)
Peppermint or wintergreen gum?
L: Wintergreen.
J: Wintergreen. Fuck peppermint. Too spicy.
L: (Laughing) Too spicy?!
Ever miss being a little kid?
L: No.
J: Yeah.
And finally. One question for me!
L: What makes you so energetic?
I’d say crack. (I laugh awkwardly.) Nooo. Hmm, though, I don't know. I just feel, like, I love people so much and I love being surrounded by people.
J: What keeps you up at night?
The fact that we all have an expiration date.
J: True. Literally, so true.
This would be number thirty-eight, whoops! But any final words to share with the world?
L: Oh my God. (She laughs.) I don’t know! Should it be advice?
Whatever you want to say!
L: No one is smart, you’re just resourceful.
J: (She’s eating.) Hmm, I’m trying to think of something good. (She crunches on a chip.) Bitches get money.
Thank you both! This was so much fun!
J: Shoot, shoot, shoot. I meant to say…fuck bitches get money.
*pseudonyms, duh.
