Bliss in Surrender

Image found on Pinterest, https://www.pinterest.com/bringblissback/

It’s so hard to trust the outcome, isn’t it? Believing that the outcome will be good feels like it goes against our very nature. To trust and let go and have faith that it’s all going to work out and that in the end we will be okay, maybe even better off, feels almost threatening even. Why should we give up control? We don’t realize that perhaps the ‘next best’ for us is much, much better than before. Better than we could have imagined. This was the case for me during a lay-off a few years ago. My greatest fear was that I would never find a job, never work again and end up homeless and alone. Your mind can go to some really dark places when facing uncertainty. The unknown can be really exciting and also, really terrifying. I lost hours of sleep and even more hours of peace of mind worrying about the outcome. There were moments when I nearly panicked and on the inside, I was shaking with fear and doubt. Losing a job, from my experience, is one of life’s scariest experiences. This experience followed close to my divorce. Over the span of two years, I was divorced and jobless. I was going nuts with worry and all I was able to do proactively, was to apply for every available job near me, even if I didn’t have any experience in that field. I was scrambling! Fighting for a foothold, grasping at any open position, frantic for a pay check. One weekend morning, in one of many dark moments, I woke up and realized there wasn’t a reason to even get up. I felt myself sinking. I was just about to slip into the pit of despair and depression. I had given up. I said a quiet and quick prayer. In this dark moment, I surrendered and simply asked that Spirit send me where I was needed. I admitted that nothing was working in my life. All the things that I thought were guarantees-my job, my marriage, my home-were gone. I was literally alone in an apartment full of boxes, forced to pack my belongings yet again after another traumatic life change. I just knew I couldn’t keep doing this. I didn’t want to! I wanted a change. I wanted my life to change. More importantly, I wanted to change. This is what I prayed to Spirit. Send me where you need me. I clearly don’t know the way. You lead. I will follow.

Image found on Pinterst, https://www.pinterest.com/bringblissback/

This was not a moment of bravery or courage. I was completely devastated. Wasted. Wrecked. I was totally empty and knowing there was no place to go, no where else to turn, I surrendered and gave it all to Spirit.

Image found on Pinterest, https://www.pinterest.com/bringblissback/

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Image found on Pinterest, Source: http://www.instapray.com/

It wasn’t all roses all of a sudden. I wish, but real life isn’t Hollywood, people. I had to give notice at my beautiful new apartment and move out. I had to move everything I own into storage and move in with my mother for a couple of months. Yes, that was my life. All my personal belongings; my favorite books, my comfy sheets, my trendy furniture and modern pottery, all in storage in another state and I’m living with my mother. My mother! Wasn’t I a hot babe? Divorced, jobless, homeless and living with my mom. Let me tell you, there is no other more humbling life experience. I was the woman that countless moms warn their sons about. I was that girl. A catch? No, not even remotely close. Slowly though, I started rebuilding. I landed a fun new job and in a few short months in my new job, I realized I was happier there than in my previous position. I began to relax more and I was able to breath a little deeper. I found an older, more affordable condo to rent that bordered a gorgeous park with several hike and bike trails. I started meeting new people, making new friends and everyone was so positive and encouraging. Even my sweet dog, Meadow, was meeting new and wonderful neighbor-dogs. My dear neighbors were sending their dogs over for play dates with Meadow and if she wasn’t able to go outside right away, they would wait or reschedule. This was so encouraging, such encouraging bliss, after all that I had been through. I even started dating a little. Nothing serious…just a little dating to dip my toes back in the pool, so to speak.

Image from Pinterest, From http://www.instapray.com/

From this turbulent period in my life, I learned that there is strength in surrender. When it seems there is nothing else to do and nowhere to go, Spirit is waiting. Silently and patiently waiting for us to let go. We still have a choice to make.

Let go…

Image from Pinterest, Image taken from http://www.bt-images.net/clouds/

Be receptive…

Image from Pinterest, https://www.pinterest.com/bringblissback/

Be ready…

Image found on Pinterest, https://www.pinterest.com/bringblissback/

“I was in complete despair. In the privacy of my room, I begged for help. I had no notion who I thought I was talking to, I had come to the end of my tether… getting down on my knees, I surrendered. Within a few days I realized I had found a place to turn to. From that day, I have never failed to pray in the morning, on my knees, asking for help, and at night, to express gratitude for my life. If you are asking why I do all this, I will tell you…because it works.”

Eric Clapton

Image found on Pinterest, Source from http://www.lizmarieblog.com/2014/02/favorite-things-friday-48/

Think about the moments in your life where you have just let go, either by choice or circumstance. What did you discover about yourself from this experience? What did you learn about the nature of Spirit, the Divine, in your life?

Please let me know if this helps you. Send me an email or leave a comment using the links at http://bringblissback.blogspot.com/

You can also reach Bring Bliss Back Blog on Facebook. Come share your bliss! Guess what? Bring Bliss Back Blog is now on Pinterest. I’m having so much fun pinning away! Join me in sharing #bliss on Pinterest. See you there!