Jake McClintock
Nov 7 · 3 min read

My usual tip is 15% on the total, including tax. If you are good at what you do, I often up it to 20% on the total, including tax. If you are really good, I’ll give you 25%. We don’t go out much because we can’t afford it, and by afford it, I mean giving a decent tip. If you slap the food in front of us and never come back even to refill the water glass, I will give you less. If you never so much as smile at me, I’ll give you less. If there is something wrong with the food, I’ll give you less. And if you are one of these women who cater to my wife, who is my guest, especially if you hand her the check as if SHE is paying for the meal, I will give you less. I find that incredibly insulting and rude. I think a tip sends you a message about how well you are serving me. If you get 10% from me, some people would give you nothing and that is what you deserve. When a person who isn’t made of money goes through some hard times, maybe they don’t have a job like you and couldn’t get your job because only young people get those jobs most of the time. You feel like a real dope when you’ve been going to restaurants and tipping according to your idea of what you should get, then you can barely afford to feed yourself or pay the rent and end up in the hospital from the stress of being in debt. Been there. Have you? As for 20 to 25% for a token effort, you must be kidding. What, you think the world owes you a living? You’re screwed up, whomever wrote this stupid thing. You must be a Millennial who thinks everyone should kiss YOUR butt just because you do the bare minimum and think you’re wonderful. A good waitress or waiter is a smart and considerate person. What’s this crap about condescending to you. I never condescend to anyone. If you are good at what you do, I appreciate it and am for you, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a waitress or the President of the United States, just so long as you don’t go to a World Series game and boo my president and his lovely wife. Wanna know what I think of those who did that? Since you are probably a Millennial, yourself, your entire generation and many of your parent’s generation, make me wanna vomit. You’re a bunch of entitled brats who never have to do without and you think you’re God’s gift. I’ve gotten the shaft my entire life and I do everything to the best of my ability. I really am sick of you creeps even mentioning “white privilege,” because minorities and women have gotten all the breaks for my entire life. I’ve been passed over and ignored while you little brats get all you want or you whine and cry about it. Grow up and realize that it is YOU who are fucked up. The very idea of classifying tippers like you have. I’m a good tipper for good service and a good meal. At times I give a lousy tip for a lousy meal and lousy service instead of leaving you a penny, which is more that some of you deserve. I’m always pleasant to my waitress so long as you don’t look at me or otherwise communicate to me the sort of shit you wrote about tippers. And no, when you get a bag to go, you don’t deserve a tip because you aren’t waiting on my table and making my evening more pleasant. Ya little bastards and bitches, fuck you! Your friend was a waiter for ten years and thinks he knows people? He must have been one lousy waiter who isn’t good enough at it to keep any job that long, that much I can be quite certain of. Be glad you even have a job, you bums. When I come across a really good waitress or waiter, the sky’s the limit, even if I can’t afford to be so generous. I’m sick of being generous to people who wouldn’t care if I dropped dead, just so long as I do it away from their restaurant. Fucking Millennials, you all make me sick with few exceptions. You are the worst generation to ever be born, ya bunch of brats, all the shit you write about the Trumps. Were I he, I’d meet you with machine guns rattling away. Antifa, my asshole.