The last few weeks..
Have been an absolute emotional roller coaster. I was able to celebrate my 31st surrounded by people I love (both near and far), had a few best friends visit over Memorial Day weekend, and now my parents are in town as we gear up for surgery.
Tuesday is coming faster than anticipated. I’m cycling through the what ifs, the possibilities, the buts, and the idea that I may feel like a totally different person once all of this is over. It’s a strange thing to think about. The thing with a-fib is that I feel like total shit when I’m in it. I am lucky that 98% of the time I live a normal, a-fib free life, but the 2% controls almost everything I do. We’re pretty sure it’s linked to my mitral valve narrowing, but will never know for certain. I can still go into a-fib when this is all said and done, but I am hoping I won’t. I don’t feel sick. I am just tired of living in fear. Of thinking every time my heart skips a beat, that something is wrong. I am hopeful that this valvioplasty leads to some more healthy years.
The ultimate takeaway from all of this? Try not to stress about the bullshit.
The outpouring of love and support I have received from family, friends, and even strangers has been so powerful and overwhelming. I am incredibly grateful for it all, and can’t wait to be on the other side of this weird tunnel. Please keep your good vibes coming, they are much needed as I navigate this windy road.