I had a conversation this weekend about allyship with a friend. He asked me whether I considered certain male celebrities as allies to the fight for intersectional feminism. Our discussion prompted the broader question of what being an ally means. If we define it, are we excluding people who might bring value to the movement?

I do think there are many different roles people can play in a movement. Some are healers, others are front line responders, there are guides, storytellers, etc. There are always going to be multiple interests within a movement and it can seem challenging to know…


This past week I decided to re-read some of my favorite books. Of them is Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye. The book is a literary masterpiece and I revisit it every few years. Each time I come away with a different understanding. One excerpt that particularly struck me was this, “Love is never any better than the lover.” To me, it suggests that the love we give is merely an extension of our character and not divorced of it. Whether we be wicked or wise, our love reflects it all. It made me wonder about the type of love I…


At the start of the third month of quarantine, I began to feel exhausted all the time. I’d workout, rest, drink caffeinated teas, but I couldn’t escape it. The exhaustion pressed down like a weight on my chest. The solitude I normally enjoyed turned into loneliness and I jumped at the opportunity to engage with friends, family, Target employees, anybody! I read and worked and binged tv until it came time to rest and do it all over again. I began working out with a friend on Monday mornings so we could provide one another with a little companionship while…


The first six months of 2020 have felt like the most insane roller coaster ride. When I woke up the day after Election Day in 2016, I could not have envisioned that we’d be fighting a global pandemic that has killed thousands and (still) fighting for basic human rights. We live in the future: we can video chat to friends continents away, we can go to the Moon and Mars, we can even shop for groceries from the comfort of our homes, but it is still controversial to say that black lives matter as much as anyone else’s. …


“I feel…” I began.

“You feel?! You feel?! Do you think a court cares how you feel?” You don’t win a case on feeling.” This was how my constitutional law class started. A few classmates sniggered, but most paid rapt attention in an attempt to escape our professor’s scrutiny. I felt admonished, but more importantly, embarrassed. From that moment on I believed that emotion had no place in the workplace and that there was no love in the law.

Lawyers pride themselves on objectivity. They believe that they can divorce themselves from emotion long enough to produce the desired results…


Just do the next right thing.

The last two weeks were particularly challenging for me. “Taking 5” (see last post) helped, but overall I just felt disconnected. I’ll admit I was frustrated with myself, it seemed like I had a neverending list of things to do and I didn’t want to rest before starting because I didn’t feel I’d deserved it. I actually told myself I didn’t deserve to rest. Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt a need to tend to yourself and feared it? Maybe even resented the need or yourself? As unkind as that…


The better it gets, the better it gets….yes, really.

This past week was a rough one. One of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad weeks where you feel like Friday is a finish line that you’re hoping to crawl across. During a moment where I really thought I was at my wit’s end, I realized I had an opportunity to pivot.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “the better it gets, the better it gets?” I know it sounds like a superficial platitude, but it’s true. Even in my most difficult times, I’ve found searching for a joyful thought…


I had to face the fact that I may have coronavirus.

I’ve been pretty calm in the face of this pandemic. I’ve traveled (prior to quarantine), made new memories, and even amped up my business. I’ve made a point of staying connected with friends, checked in on family, and wore a mask (and gloves) whenever I need to go out. Nevertheless, I began feeling flu-like symptoms. I had headaches, congestion, intense fatigue, a sore throat, and a fever. Fevers are particularly tricky for me, as I typically can’t take medicine to bring them down.

Though I tried to deny it…


Spoiler: It’s a lot like the stages of grief.

I’ve officially been quarantined for over 40 days. I think it’s 47 or so, but I’ve essentially lost count. Sci-fi was right, time is an illusion. Nevertheless, I’ve realized that the stages of quarantine are much like the stages of grief. We’re all in different stages depending on where we’re based, but it is clear that we are all processing a loss. Although I think I’m closer to acceptance, I’m curious to know. Which stage are you in?

You can’t believe that the government has forbidden you from socializing. You don’t want to believe that happy hour has been canceled…


When your commute is from the kitchen to the couch, it gets tricky.

If you would’ve told me this time last year that a good Saturday night would be watching Instagram Live, I would’ve said you were insane. Nevertheless, that’s our reality. Since February, 42 states have implemented mandatory quarantines or stay at home procedures for their citizens. Because date nights, happy hours, and retail therapy (offline, of course) aren’t happening, many businesses have been forced to shut down. So many, that over 6 million Americans have filed for unemployment since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic.

There are, however…

Brittany Says

Brittany writes about self-mastery through defining purpose and identifying core values. She can be found on BrittanySays.com

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