Okay right off the bat, I’m sitting in my room drinking a glass of rosé (because I want you to all know that I’m fancy) and smoking a cigarette like I’m Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City so if this sounds like I am rambling it’s because I am and I’m a little pissed off.
I’m single. Everything that I write is about how I am single. I’m having a blast, honestly. It’s very refreshing to be able to do what I want without the remorse of hurting someone that I care about…okay, that’s not entirely true. I care about a lot of people but, my point remains the same; I can do what I want and in the end the only one I am hurting is myself.
Just because I am the single girl, doesn’t mean I don’t notice everything that is going on in the world of dating. Whether it is happening to me or to my friends.
Bottom line: dating sucks.
At least in this century it sucks. Let’s face it, social media is destroying us. Cell phones are destroying us and our chances to find someone that we can be ourselves with whole heartedly. Don’t believe me? Then answer these questions: have you ever met someone, through a friend or just randomly at a bar? Did you two hit it off? Exchange numbers? Have you been talking to them/ hanging out with them? Did you say yes to all of these? Now, answer this: Have you ever gone drinking and then felt lonely because everybody is with someone? Yes? Congratulations. You are normal. Or at least you’ve accepted the fact that you are slightly emotionally damaged…or unstable. You’re at the bar with your friends who are chatting up guys or are getting over guys and all you can think of is “I wonder what blahblahblah is up to tonight.” So you pull out your phone and boom. You just drunk texted the guy you are into.
Still don’t believe me that cell phones are destroying us?
Okay, fine. You just drunk texted the guy and assume that everything is going to be okay. Maybe you flirt a little or maybe you make an ass out of yourself. If it’s the latter (which it most likely is) then you just ruined what could have been a fun fling or even a relationship.
I get it. We have all been there. Maybe some more than others (if I am being completely honest) or it could all just be our anxieties yelling at us that we are overthinking everything…again. But, you wake up in the morning and there is no text from him. Whatever, he could be sleeping. You go about your day and still, no text. Deep down you feel that there has been a shift in the relationship that you two had (calm down if you are thinking that relationships are just about love and couples and sex and stuff).
Remember when I said social media is also destroying us? Well, this is when you see that shift in the relationship. All of a sudden your Facebook isn’t blowing up with notifications that he liked your posts like it did before. Still think it’s your anxieties talking or is that gut feeling you are having actually right?
Dating sucks. It’s just as simple as that. We have evolved into letting our phones run our lives just as much as romantic comedies are shaping the minds of adolescent girls about what it should be like to find someone. You know, how you will go on at least, 3 crappy dates, have a boyfriend that will break your heart and then the next guy is the one you end up with.
Unfortunately these days, anything can make or break a relationship. Whether it is a stupid drunk text or they realize that they can’t catch up with your lifestyle. I understand that confrontation sucks. It does. I cry when people tell me that they need to talk (doesn’t matter what the subject is). But the truth is, nobody wants to work on problems anymore. Everybody just wants everything to be easy and ‘breezy’ and other rhyming words that hold a positive connotation. But it’s not that simple. It has never been that easy but, it is getting harder to find a connection with someone that is truly genuine without the use of social media.
Dating in the 21st Century is a minefield or at least just one big headache from all the mind games.
I don’t really have advice for this. Really all I am is just mad at myself for doing certain self-destructive things to ruin the relationships I have built with people because I do the wine drunk, lonely text. But, if I have to have advice on this topic is to stop overthinking. Don’t let the mind games screw you over. Give up the fight for who can go the longest without texting first. Just, text first. If they don’t put in the effort to accept your countless apologies for that one stupid little thing that happened then it was never meant to be which will be the first step in getting over it and moving on to the next one.