Like every great blog post of mine it is always under the influence of one glass of wine. Only because when drinking that one glass when home alone, it creates the illusion that I am actually not emotionally damaged and am actually pretty philosophical. But despite of that illusion, it has also made me realize one of the greatest faults of dating in the age of the internet (at least post myspace).
It is no lie that one of the biggest relationship killers (or start of the relationship killers) is social media. Instead of being upfront and telling the boy you like (or girl) what you want, it has turned into reposting a meme to your wall that hints to the one you like what you want. If you think that’s bullsh*t then I bet you twenty bucks that if you go onto your Facebook newsfeed you will find that a girl posted a meme that has a photo of a couple cuddling with something that says “just want a relationship like this *insert emoji with the heart eyes*.”
Wether you are single or in a relationship, you have become a part of the new society of starting a relationship behind a screen. I can’t say that I haven’t done it. Hell, my best flirting is when I am texting the guy I like instead of actually talking to them. But, then again, when I am attracted to a guy, I go into a funk where I’m not actually myself in public and can’t look them in the eyes. So, hiding behind a screen doesn’t seem like a bad idea.
But, it isn’t just Facebook that is ruining our way of approaching relationships. Instagram is up there too. Did he follow you back? Follow you first? Does he like every photo you post? Because he is following you do you post certain photos so he can think “damn”? It’s a total clusterf*ck of mind games.
The social media presence has actually made the “game of dating” thirty times stronger. I’m at fault for saying that a lot of stuff that I post on my Facebook is to impress someone and waiting to see if they like the post or the photo. If they don’t then…what do I do? I automatically think that he isn’t interested in me which makes me feel like crap.
I have read countless of books all about dating and I have to say that as hilarious as they are, they are full of sh*t. They give advice about how your social media presence should be so you don’t give too much away. How you should never text first because that screams desperation. Have him message you because if they like you then there is no chase. It just happens.
Never text first because that screams desperation is pure crap. Text first because you want to talk to them. That’s not desperate. That’s called being friendly or maybe even flirtatious. If they choose not to carry on the conversation or they message back in ways that you don’t have a connection to then there is your answer. He isn’t interested or maybe you gave it a bit of a shot to see if there is any connection.
All I have is nothing but complaints about social media and relationships. I also have nothing but regret about how I am with social media and relationships because I am honest to God scared of approaching a guy that I like in public (I mean come on, it took my friend two hours to convince me to just text the guy I like “hey:)”). When it comes to my social media presence and relationships, honestly, I don’t care. Dating books will tell you that you shouldn’t play all your cards on the first hand or whatever. That is a little true. Don’t give too much away but what they mean is that you shouldn’t show them your true self until you’ve been together for at least a month. That’s idiotic. I believe that you shouldn’t hide who you are. Be 100% yourself and if they don’t like that than that’s their problem.
So, there is my advice: never hide your true self. Be confident in your weirdness and embrace your quirks. F*ck trying to mould your social media presence just to impress someone. Think of it this way- what if they love the way your social media presence is but, doesn’t like who you truly are when you apparently, decide to show it to them? Sure you will be heartbroken but, think of all that time you wasted because you decided to wear a mask instead of being you.