It’s a slippery slope into the world of “funatics”

Photo: jpellgen via flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

These days, I keep engaging in an action that I recognize as blatant capitalist completionism. It’s also an addiction, but a strange addiction; I know addiction pretty well, and this one simply doesn’t make sense to me. There’s no real dopamine release, nor does it bring me any sense of accomplishment or fulfillment. And yet I keep finding myself trying to dip my toe into a world where I have no business dabbling—a world I don’t even want to be involved in. The world of Funko Pops.

Formed in 1998, Funko originally planned to make small bobbleheads of vintage things…

It begins innocently enough…until you buy MIDI files pressed onto vinyl. Are they worth it?

Image: Homunkulus28/iStock via Getty Images Plus

At a party a few years back, I did The Thing. What is The Thing for you? Is it the moment you do something that you realize you shouldn’t have done and should never do again? Yes. It’s that moment of, “Oh, this should be my drunkest mistake ever,” and then you should learn from said mistake and overcorrect.

I did not overcorrect.

I was standing in a party that was not my own and decided it was time for the soundtrack to change. In the middle of everyone else’s good time, I deliberately removed the album Sports by Huey…

Unlocking rewards can be irresistible, until you lose yourself

Photo by Hardik Sharma on Unsplash

In the fall of aught-seven, I packed my car and drove from my college hometown of Chicago to my new permanent-nightmare base of operations in Los Angeles. After a month working in reality television, I came to grips with the possibility that I might not immediately sell the first and only pilot script I’d written — a rough draft I’d never revised, because why would I deliberately dilute my 21-year-old genius? Of course the world should cherish my opinions on masculinity and relationships as though I were a national treasure donated by an ally nation. (This presupposes that High Fidelity–era…

Spending hundreds of dollars on a board game isn’t everybody’s idea of a good time, but for some, it’s sheer joy

Credit: Farley Santos via flickr/CC BY-SA 2.0

Board games mess with me. Mostly because the folks who introduce me to board games mess with me. Let us all agree that everything in nerddom is becoming polarized as well as bigger, grander, and more horrifying than everything that came before it — and board games are no exception. Their players make up a new generation of a new fandom who no longer share the same reality as that of the board games of my childhood. Up until a few years ago, there were very few board games that I thought retained or gained any level of value in…

Brock Wilbur

Writer and Comedian. Thanks for reading. Check me out at Unwinnable, Paste, Boss Fight Books and on the podcasts Missouri Loves Company and The Coolest Kids.

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