Part 2 of 10 things I wish I had known b.k.
My life as a Mom is always transforming and changing but I feel each of these things I’ve learned have played a significant role in our family. I hope they will provide some wisdom findings in your journey as well.
#5 Passions, dreams & giftedness provide purpose
As my boys began entering their preteen years I began siting unique times when I saw them acting in extraordinary ways. I’m not talking about when they scored the winning point in a championship game or what exceptional talents they had which could land them a spot on America’s Got Talent. It’s way more awesome than that! It was the times when I watched them choose to be friends with an autistic boy who was struggling with making friends and when they chose to give their new pair of shoes to a friend who was being raised by a single Mom and didn’t get new things. It was in these moments I would tell them how gifted they were and ask them how they could use these attributes to further God’s work. These pockets of time became an investment into shaping how they viewed themselves and allowed them to recognize how they were uniquely designed. With each opportunity where they were selflessly contributing into others’ lives we built on these moments to inspire them toward their future. We as parents, can often miss these undersized opportunities and wonder why our kids are aimlessly wandering at times. So go ahead, seize these moments-celebrate your kids……provide them with the vision & purpose they crave!
#4 I would love each of my kids equally
When I was handed my first son, Justin, I was immediately smitten with everything about him and I fully understood why Mothers always think their babies are beautiful. But the idea of sharing my love with another child seemed almost wrong……I wondered if Moms of multiple children could love each child the same or if they secretly loved one more than another. This kind of love we shared seemed so special & intimate that I couldn’t imagine my heart making room for another. Yet the desire to give him a sibling surpassed these concerns and when our second son, Jess was born my heart buoyantly expanded and it felt even more full. As I discovered with the additions of Josiah & Jonah, a Mother’s heart is perfectly designed for each child she’s given. Much like God’s love for us, it was never intended to be equally divided, but instead is uniquely proportioned with each one of us in mind.
#3 Finding community would be essential
Building real and intimate friendships while in the midst of motherhood has been essential to my sanity. The demands on me as a Mom & a Wife were often very overwhelming and the relief I found in the presence of a good friend would provide exactly what my soul was needing. Good friends have a way of talking you out of a crazy state of mind and reminding you that you can do this. My friends have not only enhanced my life but they have also shaped my boy’s lives too. There’s no doubt a parent’s level of influence on their kids’ lives is impactful but the fingerprints my friends have left on my boys is simply priceless!
#2 Time flies no matter how slow it feels
I always felt when my kids were in the infant and toddler stages the days seemed like they were barely passing by. With each hour that crept by I was perplexed by the multiple times I was warned by other Moms to relish each moment because ‘time flies and before you know it they’ll be gone!’ I often wondered if the Moms who were speaking these words had somehow found a fast track to parenthood, because at my house each second was ticking by. It wasn’t until my boys were in middle school that I first recognized this warning coming true. Even then though, I never quite understood the purpose for all the warnings…..yet it’s now as I am releasing my boys into adulthood, that I find those same words rolling off my tongue.
#1 Trust your training
As your kids begin easing into the teenage years and into greater independence- trust your training! Trust the years of pouring into them, your prayers spoken over them and most of all the lessons you’ve taught them. You will not be a perfect parent with flawless kids, but your kids will reap the blessings of your sacrifices and investments in their lives. They will lean into the wisdom you’ve imparted and will begin testing it for themselves. I remember when our older boys were each leaving for college I began frantically trying to instruct them in all the different things I was afraid I hadn’t taught them yet like doing laundry or even the deeper things of life they would encounter. I found myself racing against a stop clock and feeling like I was trailing far behind. But as I was feeling overwhelmed with this monumental task, I began to realize- life was a journey to discover, it wasn’t meant to have figured out before it was even lived. And I was able to find comfort knowing my boys would never be on their journey alone. They to had a Heavenly Father who would walk through every step with them………in the joyous times and through the deepest & darkest times — He would be with them just as He has walked with me as their Mom. I didn’t & couldn’t possibly have known all I needed to raise them, but what I did know, was that He had prepared me along the way……and all the training time we shared would abundantly supply their needs too.