rising from hurt

It’s inevitable…hurt will come.
Hurt doesn’t choose its victims, we each fall prey to it, in one way or another. In fact, if we search back through the pages of our lives, we’ve all experienced it too many times to count!
(My much needed disclaimer: For those of you who are or have experienced any level of emotional or verbal abuse this should not replace seeking professional help. I am not referring to those types of situations. Verbal and emotional abuse is real and needs professional attention to work through its damage.)
Whether an untimely word was spoken to us, we suffered a deep loss or maybe it was just an unmet longing…hurt is hard. What makes it even harder is knowing how to respond inside it. You’ve probably heard the saying, ‘hurt people, hurt people’. Oh do I hate it when I let my hurt, hurt someone else!
A lot of times our hurts can be complicated with a pile of multiple woundings or they can intensify with ‘old hurts’ we’ve left unhealed.
People do all kinds of things in response to hurt…we lash out, we hide, we vent, we numb ourselves, we injure others…all of these are responses that have consequences though. And learning to lead through hurt is critical.
When we can identify WHAT is causing our hurt and if there is any underlying emotions/insecurities mixed in with it, this is a great starting point for us to work through our hurt and pain.
When I first began asking myself ‘what are some insecurities or old wounds that keep re-surfacing in my life?’ I discovered a consistant theme. I was not only dealing with whatever the current hurtful situation happened to be, but also my past pain which I had never sorted through.
As I began this discovery, I found packed away in the layers of my emotions a strong desire to be understood, heard and not overlooked. So, when new situations would occur where I felt any of these were an issue, rather than dealing with the current hurt I was wrapping it up in ‘old’ wounds and holding those involved in my present situation responsible for my past. In order to find a healthy way to respond to hurt, I’ve had to take moments to reflect and be honest. I’ve also invited others into this conversation with me to help me see it objectively and distance myself from my hurt feelings. In meditative moments like these, I have learned the value of listening to others when there was a misunderstanding and searching for truth rather than shutting down….I do this by sifting through their comments and holding onto worthy nuggets that could be beneficial and provide some sense of clarity into the injury. This has been a note worthy exercise that has allowed me to be more gracious instead of immediately lashing out in defense. It’s also one of the hardest disciplines I’ve ever done.
Let’s face it, it’s hard to not defend and retort back when you’re hurting.
A lot of hurtful situations need clarity to bring them into a place of mutual understanding.
But far too many of us let our emotions lead us rather than allowing some good ol’ self-control to come in! Believe me, this struggle is real friends!
Once we realize our fractured and broken hearts are really just in need of a hearty helping of self-compassion and understanding, we will navigate through hard times so much better. Many of make the mistake of merely responding to hurt as if we are fighting for a piece of ourselves…..defending years of pain. But there is a better way to face hurt and to find peace in the midst of it.
The insight I’ve gained through these processes has brought the healing I’ve needed for years and has impacted my relationships in so many ways. Dealing with my past has given me hope and allowed me to grow.
I owe my greatest gratitude to my Heavenly Father who has taken this messed up hurting heart of mine and is healing it, bringing it back to better health and function.
Our hurts can either become wounds where bitterness infects them through and through or where life-giving healing can take place, allowing us to be whole again. Our hurts untended to can wreak havoc on our bodies and our relationships yet there is a way to find healing and to walk through hurt peacefully.
Hurt in its’ greatest disguise can be a means to our greatest growth and healing.
If this blog gave you greater insight share it with your friends and recommend it!
