How come most of us do not even know what we love?

I meet 18-year-olds who feel horrible because they have not “found” what they would love to do yet. I try to calm them down. I tell them I have 50+ year old clients who have no idea what makes them really fulfilled in life. I tell them it is OK. Especially at 18. If you started thinking about it now, good for you, great question. Do not panic.
I searched for my passion inside and outside for many years. I always knew when something did not feel right but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. For most of us, it is not an easy journey and there are many reasons for it.
When I look back, I actually had so many clues of what made me happy when I was a child. What happens then?
We are in tune with ourselves when we are very young. Then there comes outside noises. They get louder. What noises?
· What our parents expect from us,
· What the society applauds or frowns upon,
· What makes people earn respect and money,
· What is accepted as normal and “successful” and what is not.
Based on where we grow and the people around us, we start to form opinions of what we should(very dangerous word!) do with our lives. This noise separates us from our real voice that lives inside of us.
Why do we listen to this outside noise more than our inner voice? Because we are hard wired to seek approval from others. We want their smiles, their love; we want them to say “bravo” and cheer what we are doing, or even a subtle look that says we are on the “right” path.
It is no use beating ourselves up when we “wake up” one day and see we lived their life, not ours. You did not do this on purpose or because there was something wrong with you. It is human conditioning. If you wake up, that is good enough. Actually it is great, if you follow through this time.
What are the signs of you “waking up”? You do not like what you most spend time with. You get sick. You feel depressed. You have a yearning deep down for something that matters. You feel there is more to life than the daily grind. Somebody you love dies and reminds you how precious every day is. Everything you do looks stupid. You know you need to make changes in your life even if you don’t know how.
Then you start to “re-find” what makes you excited, what makes you feel alive.
I loved writing since I was able to hold a pen. I read the book “Love” from Leo Buscaglia and fell in love with the notion of giving classes on Love at school. I remember sending an article to a local newspaper to get my short essay published. I remember reading all the books assigned at school for homework and told the summary to my friends who did not like to read. I remember reading almost all books at our school library. So I loved learning, reading, writing and sharing since I was a child. I got distracted by the outside noise for a while. Years later, I got back to my roots. They were always there. I sometimes just did not pay attention to the inner voice. No wonder I am an author, avid-reader, lifetime learner, trainer, speaker now and I love it. (Just waiting to give lessons on Purpose at college campuses.) I got back to own my track.
It is OK not to know what moves you, inspires you, what your passion and purpose is. Once you awaken though, it is our responsibility to find what has always been there. You are certainly not here for the daily grind. There is more to life than that. Teach your children to listen to that inner voice and lower the outside noise for them. It is the best thing you can do to them besides giving them a lot of love.
