I never knew this would happen…

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I didn’t set out to show up online as anything other than what I am: an African-American woman. However, strange things happened along the way of my 15-year journey as an Internet journalist and YouTube creator.

People made the odd assumption that I was a white woman.

Not always. I mean, the publications I’ve written for over the years wherein I included a photo of my face in my biography obviously display the fact that I’m a black woman. …


Learning to romance myself in a sexless marriage

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I probably haven’t had sex with my husband in one year. It could be 500 days. Who knows. I stopped counting long ago so I wouldn’t depress myself. Again, the real reason for this coital draught is unknown.

“Tired.”

“Stress.”

“Fear of pleasing you…”

David changes into a single-syllabic type of guy when I broach the paucity of sex issue every blue moon. Recently, he bought a wonderful shower head replacement for my bathroom. The unspoken message was clear.

Woman, please thyself.

The better orgasm

Okay, so I won’t lie. I’ve always been able to…


Before you start your new YouTube channel focused on crime…read these 5 warnings ⚠️

I kind of fell “bass ackwards” — as Mommy used to say — into becoming a successful YouTube creator focused on true crime , even though I’ve been interested in true crime all my life. One of the first true crime books I read was the 1970s-era And I Don’t Want to Live This Life: A Mother’s Story of Her Daughter’s Murder (aff link to Kindle Edition) by Deborah Spungen.


When Medium suspends your account, here’s what to expect

You might be cranking out articles like normal on your approximately 5-year-old Medium account. Then an ominously titled “Your account on Medium” subject-lined email appears in Gmail.

“Hello,” it reads. “After careful review of the account linked to this email address, Medium’s Trust & Safety team has found it to be in violation of site policies, and it has been suspended:”

Medium gives me a link, but no specifics

Medium went on to give me a link to their rules.

You know, the standard stuff: No doxxing, no hate speech, etc.

https://medium.com/policy/medium-rules-30e5502c4eb4

And although it quotes rules like these…


Strange stuff next occurred

Photo by Ashley Schulze on Unsplash

Like Chris Watts, I never ever thought I’d cheat on my spouse. I love my husband David so much — but after 25 years together, adultery was bound to happen. I’m still not sure if David has ever cheated on me.

After all, there was the weird time that my husband’s female coworker kissed David right on the lips in front of me at a wedding reception. …


Cunilingus clues

Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash

I should’ve gotten the hint that my husband was sort of a selfish lover when we first began our affair before we even got married. Back then, I was married to an ogre when I met David at our workplace inside a Chicago skyscraper.

With his handsome waves and kind demeanor, I could barely resist him. David fell for my sexy dresses and comparable education level. It was kismet. Or “kiss met,” if you will.

We’d sneak away to fool around in his Celica during lunch breaks or after work. However, as our deep kisses turned to sexual…


Is it succubus, incubus, or the Lord of hosts?

Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

One time in the beauty salon, my hairdresser told me a fascinating story about her other female client hooking up with a ghost.

“She said the best sex she’s ever had was with ‘the man,’ who would come visit her house.”

Intrigued, I listened intently about the woman who claimed some invisible being or entity would come and have sex with her — even though she was home alone.

It reminded me of a movie I saw in the ’70s when a horny ghost pulled down the thin shoulder strap of…


We marry our moms, not our dads

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

I backed our Subaru Legacy slowly out of our two-car garage this morning, but apparently not slowly enough. “Shit!” I cussed, right in front of my teen daughter in the passenger seat, when I realized I had misjudged the small amount of room I had between our big SUV on the left and the garage door’s frame on the right.

The right rearview mirror’s cover popped off and went sailing to the ground. The turn signal’s light dangled by its colorfully-covered wires. The first thing I thought of was my husband David’s reaction.

“Don’t yell at me,” I talk-to-texted him…


Five positives of not getting my husband’s peen

Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash

“Are you seeing somebody else?”

Out of frustration, I asked my husband David this question shortly upon waking this fine Sunday morning. Besides, my iPhone X had died — I needed something else to do besides scroll YouTube, Quora, Reddit, and Facebook.

He insisted that he wasn’t.

“Well, why aren’t you sleeping with me?”

David explained his stress, his body, his routine, his job drama, how much he loved me, etc. He unfurled strings of words that didn’t quite form in-depth paragraphs, but I gave him a break all the same. I…


The “tithes” are turning — and it’s been a long time coming

Photo by Christiana Rivers on Unsplash

I feel kind of sad writing this story. The gender pay gap has been a reality played out in my household for years. But now that it is shifting, it makes me long for the type of fiscal union that my husband and I should have had all along.

David has always made more money than me. We are a walking experiment in how men and women with the same qualifications, in the same industry, are paid differently.

We are the same race.

We both have bachelor’s degrees…

Anna Marin

Writing, writing, and more writing…

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