How to Get Closure

It just isn’t working. You are crazy about him. She means everything to you. But you have to end it.

So you break up. And somehow, you care more about your significant other now than you did when you were dating. First day of being single? Awful. Second day of being single? Even worse. Third day of being single? This has got to stop.


The thing that everyone wants but no one can get. With closure, you can move on to so many wonderful experiences. Without it, you can forget about having a lasting relationship, or even marriage. There is no way you can completely give your heart to someone else if you’re still pining over your last relationship. So how does one achieve the ever elusive state of “closure”?

  1. You have to cut it off completely. Don’t try the “let’s just be friends” thing. I’ve done it, and it usually doesn’t work. All of those strong feelings are still there, and it’s hard to move on to someone else if the previous relationship is still a big part of your life. It will hurt a lot, but just tear off the Band-Aid.
  2. Stay busy. The hardest moments are when you are by yourself and have time to think about how much you miss them and your relationship. Don’t be frantically rushing around, but make sure you have plenty to do. Hang out with friends. Get involved with service or a club. Pick up a new hobby.
  3. Remember why it wasn’t working and why you decided to break up. When we really miss someone, we tend to justify and rationalize because we just want to be around them again. You had good reasons to end it, so hold on to those when you’re questioning your decision.
  4. Trust that time is the great healer. You’re going to need time. Lots and lots of it. Be patient and have hope that you will be able to heal and get over it. Being single is uncomfortable because you aren’t used to it. Just take one day at a time. I promise it will get better.

Remember that you can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

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