This was an engaging read. Being a single man for over 3 years, I’ve definitely went through the motions. From desperately searching for soulmates on dating apps to avoiding any form of interaction with women, I felt incomplete without that special someone. Any opportunity I had to date was met with failure or the friend zone.
However, the one thing I learned from this time was to accept the possibility of being single forever and how I should respond to that potential situation. I know you mentioned this, but I had to demystify the premise of dating. I’ve seen plenty of relationships start strong with the best intentions and end badly without reason. I enjoyed the idea of having someone to talk to and to shower appreciation, but it was mainly to satisfy my low self-esteem. Perhaps that’s why singleness has been like a curse to me. Because outside of romantic relationships, I have a tough time keeping worthwhile friendships. And perhaps a girlfriend would just fulfill all the roles perfectly.
Anyways, just wanted to say this resonated with me. I might get started on writing similar.