Trump Tower, 3 AM

*ring ring*

“Trumpphone. Speak, loser.”

“Donald! You doing OK?”


“Because you seem upset.”

“No upset. YOU’RE upset. Who’s this?”

“It’s Barack.”


“Barack Obama.”


“You know, the founder of ISIS.”

*silent fuming*

“I just wanted you to know if there’s anythin”


“OK, Donald. Hey good luck bro.”

*silent fuming*

“Oh and Donald? You were right. I wasn’t born in the US. “


“That’s between you and me though bro. Keep it under your wig.”


“Get it? I said ‘under your wig’. Because of your hairpiece. Get it?”

*literally dead silence*

“Donald? You there?”