Trump Tower, 3 AM

*ring*
*ring ring*

“Trumpphone. Speak, loser.”

“Donald! You doing OK?”

*silence*

“Because you seem upset.”

“No upset. YOU’RE upset. Who’s this?”

“It’s Barack.”

*silence*

“Barack Obama.”

*silence*

“You know, the founder of ISIS.”

*silent fuming*

“I just wanted you to know if there’s anythin”

“NO FUMING. YOU’RE THE FUMING!”

“OK, Donald. Hey good luck bro.”

*silent fuming*

“Oh and Donald? You were right. I wasn’t born in the US. “

*sputtering*

“That’s between you and me though bro. Keep it under your wig.”

*ragestroke*

“Get it? I said ‘under your wig’. Because of your hairpiece. Get it?”

*literally dead silence*

“Donald? You there?”

“Hello?”