Driving through the Italian countryside, it’s hard not to get emotional with the picturesque, even bucolic views from the car window.
I always get this feeling of being in the wrong car somehow. This one is too modern.There are too many curves and sleek lines. My mind is quick to correct that mistake, like some sort of software readapting itself. But yet again, a software would be too modern.
My mind changes train tracks and I’m suddenly in a little yellow fiat 500 from the 60’s. …
You know, I don’t really have many happy memories. It’s not that I never lived through happy moments, it’s just that all the bad always had a stronger grip on my brain.
I do have a couple of very vivid happy memories though. And they came crashing like a giant wave on an empty beach. Funny what being quarantined does to you.
The first memory is from a ballet recital. I must have been six or seven years old. I was a little blue butterfly. It was an important part. I got to be on stage with all the best…
Through medication and meditation, the only thing that has truly helped my anxiety in a substantial way is a list.
It seems so obvious now that I realize it. It’s so straightforward and intuitive, that it’s the kind of thing you don’t even consider when seeking treatment options.
Turns out the cure was a list of things that I know make me anxious.
When I quit benzodiazepines and antidepressants cold turkey (I’m working on a story all about it), I had one thing in mind that kept me going. …
Dear You Know Who You Are,
It’s kind of crazy to live a life thinking you’re inadequate.
It’s been almost ten years since I last saw any of you, and yet, the words you said to me, or about me, still come up from time to time.
Like passing clouds.
Sometimes it’s not even the words that come. It’s just a feeling. A river running through my body. Igniting every single cell and overflowing. My throat closes, and still today, I’m unable to speak.
Such a funny feeling.
It’s funny because your whole life can be affected by feeling…
I’m writing this after spending the whole day on my feet. Walking and cleaning and sticking people with needles. Every bone in my body hurts, and my muscles are in desperate need of some shiatsu. Weirdly, my mind doesn’t hurt anymore. Not like it hurt six months ago.
It is so easy to fool ourselves into thinking that there is a preset path we have to follow in life. We can all remember being seventeen and bearing the weight of having to choose what we will be doing for the better part of our lives.
For some people this is…
Maybe it can actually be.
I’m sitting here writing this during the last week of my course to become a yoga teacher. I thought I would be feeling very differently than what I’m feeling now.
Three months ago I decided that I was absolutely miserable at my office job. So miserable in fact that I had to start taking anxiety medication again. I cried every single day, and couldn’t really see a future that could be brighter for me.
As a last attempt at happiness, I decided to quit this job (that wasn’t even paying my bills anyway), and take…
Life is suffering.
That’s the main conclusion drawn by Siddhartha Gautama when he reached enlightenment sitting at the bottom of the Bodhi tree.
Without going too deep into Buddhism, I think we can all recognize that if you’re alive, you’ve suffered, are still suffering, or probably will suffer at some point in the future.
Life can be extremely overwhelming, especially when you’re a child.
I was a child that didn’t belong. I was an only child in a sea of kids that had many siblings. When I was young, it wasn’t common to have a one child family. I couldn’t…
If female empowerment and swearing scares you, click away now.
Let’s face it. Women are queens. We have to put up with the craziest stuff. From being called “big pussied” by greasy constructions workers (yes, another human being actually said that to me) to ACTUALLY creating life, most women can’t just waltz through life. Most days you probably feel icky, gross, tired, hungry, overwhelmed and anxious. But I’m here to tell you that girl, YOU ARE A QUEEN.
And as a queen would, you deserve ROYAL treatment.
I’m here to list some things that will help you live your true…
I must have been about 5 years old when I first watched Spirited Away and My Neighbour Totoro. The second time I’ve watched them would be more or less 7 years later. I spent seven whole years without really knowing the name or the meaning of those films. All that I carried with me throughout that time was a sense of complete amazement. I dreamt of the characters, scenes in real life transported me back to the images in the films, but I never really found out that Studio Ghibli was a thing until I was about twelve.
Buying a kindle is not the answer and I’m not sorry for the terrible pun.
I know I’m not alone when I say that I slowly but surely stopped reading as I grew older. Book pages were substituted by Youtube videos, Netflix and pointless quizzes. I mean, is it really that pressing of an issue to know which Disney princess am I based on my choices of grilled cheese? At the time, it seemed to be.
My attention spam became that of a French Bulldog. Flashy pictures, funky sounds and funny squirrel videos hypnotized my mind.
One day I said…