Walking on egg shells

Bruna Taaffe
Jul 22, 2017 · 2 min read

Have you ever felt you were constantly living surrounded by a very thin layer of glass just about to break? This is how I have been feeling the past few years. And it is not nice.

Years ago I used to have a blog where I posted everything I wanted to. I was my own editor. That’s one of the best parts of having your own blog. Even if nobody reads your work, you still can publish it. It doesn’t hurt and it’s free of charge (even though you probably won’t get paid for it).

Hence my lack of free time, I always forced myself to write whenever things got a little bit hard to swallow. Worked as a treat! I used to call my blog my own free therapist. However if I go there now and read some of the posts, I probably would feel myself the worst human being in this planet. I didn’t care much for those who were reading me. I just wrote.

Looking back, I was a nice girl though. Never attacked someone with the power of the pen, as they call it. I used to think a lot before hitting the “enter” key. And my posts weren’t targeted to someone in special. They were about me so I always felt comfortable to say whenever I wanted just because If I was to hurt someone that someone would be me, so that was fine.

Fast forward a couple of years.

I stopped publishing because I was constantly afraid of people’s opinion. What are they gonna think? What are they gonna say if they read this shite? And if my mother in law see this, God! And if my mom gets to read this bit, oh no. And if my kids, when they grow older, end up finding my blog? Oh, no I would be lost sure.

I just couldn’t keep going on with that paranoia. So I stopped writing. That simple. I never had a spare time anyways… let’s blame the lack of time and sleep and blame the motherhood. Feck it. I always have to blame someone. Poor you reading me. Watch out!

That’s me then. A woman afraid of walking on and breaking all the egg shells I see in my daily life. And look… I used to write about everything around me. My busses trips to college and work were masterpieces of my own way to see life. And that’s all gone. What have I done to myself?

I feel that I have lost more than five years of practice just because I was afraid of judgement. What a loser! I can write. I still can publish anything I want even though I still can be that one not well paid for the job. I can! Let’s do it then.

If you got till here, thanks. I will give my best and write more. I won’t miss a day. Promise!

Just kidding!

I will probably be still walking on egg shells but I will break some of them just because I LOVE the noise it makes. Craaack!

Bruna Taaffe

Written by

I have a writer hidden in my heart but hands full with everything else.

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