When Did My Life Become Mushy Mochi?

Tonight I sat alone at the sushi bar. The bartender recognized me from last week and poured my favorite New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. I looked up at the television that displayed some basketball game, but I don’t know what team and I looked down at my phone for the millionth time today. What am I doing? I am eating alone at a sushi bar I went to with a friend once.

People come and go. I spend a lot of time thinking about making someone stick, but things get old. I had sushi just two days before and it was amazing, so this sushi seems mediocre when I used to think it was great. Why is this sushi not tasty anymore? Why is David the bartender slightly annoying this time? Why did my mochi get mushy?

When did my life become mushy mochi?

I want to smile and laugh at everything. But the reality is that some days are bad and things have to change in order to get better. Being alone doesn’t bother me, but not knowing what makes me happy…that freaks me out. I don’t want to settle for mushy mochi. I want the best of everything.

People are never who they are. They are only our perceptions of who we know them to be. I could see someone as the most kind and amazing person, while they see themselves as selfish and unimportant. How do we find the true self, but through others? I tend to wonder sometimes if I met myself, would I enjoy my company? I’m not sure that I would….but maybe if I met someone as slightly a better version of myself it would make sense. Maybe soulmates are real and we are lost until we meet in order to truly be ourselves…

According to Greek Mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves -Plato’s The Symposium
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