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I have always had a fascination for people who managed to keep being positive whatever happens to them. What you often see in reality though, is that they alternate between realistic phases and then, feeling guilty, force themselves to return to being all-positive.

Being positive sure feels good at the moment you decide it. It works well thanks to what we call the confirmation bias, which designates the mind’s tendency to notice and allocate more attention to experiences that match preexisting thoughts or beliefs. You will allocate more attention to what you are doing right and what is going well…


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I stumbled upon a quote from a book¹, explaining the difference between frank and polite people. To summarize, it stated that frank people believe in the importance of expressing themselves honestly, because they fundamentally believe that what they think is acceptable to the world. They believe that what they think cannot ever be vindictive, disgusting or cruel. On the other hand, polite people proceed under a suspicion of themselves and their impulses. They believe that a great deal of what they feel, or want, isn’t very nice, and they prefer to spare the people around them from their dark desires.


Everyday life requires a certain number of actions. It’s harder to do than we admit (be healthy, work, manage friendships, etc.), but it’s hard to do anything as a human unless you have a bigger goal or purpose. A goal is not something external like “I want to become rich”, it’s something that resonates within you. Goals are things that you really want, deep within, and therefore can generate optimism: you can visualise yourself achieving them and feel how much better your life will be. Routine is different, because you’re just maintaining your state: there is nothing to win, you’re…


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Previously I wrote an article about why having problems is not something to fear, and I wanted to add a bit to it.

The other day I met a friend whom I hadn’t seen for a while. While we were very close at the time, there were a number of occurrences where we couldn’t quite agree and one of us ended up frustrated. As we had a casual talk, and I mentioned some bad things that happen in this world, he said something like “in business it’s always the good ones who end up winning in the long term”. While…


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The title is a rough translation of the Japanese proverb 継続は力なり. When you want to become good at something, there really is no shortcut, you will have to do it regularly, ideally every day. Most people give up there though, before having a chance to realize that it works the other way around: you will become good at what you love doing, because you’ll do it everyday. As such, becoming good at something more has to do with removing the pressure as much as possible and increasing the fun in what you are doing. …


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This is another post about my personal story and the realizations which helped me.

What if, instead of telling our kids how to use their toys properly so as to not break them, we taught them how to repair those toys?

Not repairing for them, not buying them something else, having them fix it. There is another, more subtle concept behind this, which is to be accountable. Basically, you have the right to use or to do anything you want, but then you are responsible with the consequences. …


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Six months ago I broke up. It seemed like a relatively small deal, because I believed, per her own words, that she wanted to dump me for some time already.

It took me a few months of realizing how low I had gotten and start bouncing back up. It’s only now that the exact same thing happened to me in a relationship that I had just started, that I had a chance to realize how all of this was wrong.

Before meeting my ex, I was a quite happy boy, with relatively good value as perceived by women in general…


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In this series about life lessons, I want to regularly share one realization that I had recently.

A few weeks ago, I chose to take up a challenge: I’d force myself to act everyday on something that made me afraid, but which I knew I wanted to do. In this case it means going out and meet new people.

I realized that at some point in my life, I was pretty good at that. I had given my ego less importance, and I actually had FUN trying new stuff, putting myself in danger and see how I could figure it…


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Looking at my behavior during the past 10 years and that of the people I frequented, I’d categorize two main ways of living your life. I’ll name them the Active and the Responsible for the purpose of this article. These two ways of living not only influence what you are currently doing, but also the kind of challenges that you are likely to be attracted to — and therefore, your future. And chances are that, at the moment, you need just the exact opposite mindset to get working better.

The Responsible mindset is when you always plan things in a…


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While trying to help someone the other day on his difficulty shaking his comfort zone, I realized that there was a pattern common to many people I know, myself included, which held us back.

You see, at some point in my life, I felt so broken, malfunctioning in every possible way. I had generalized anxiety that would never leave me, to an almost debilitating degree. I sought for professional help, and then became obsessed with personal development, in a quest to improve and eventually cure myself. I’d finally “be OK” and start moving forward. Things evolved pretty organically for me…

Brunni

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