Self-consciousness, such a beautiful word — now what does it really mean, how to obtain it e why (I think) is it so important?
Each one of us has a given set of skills — and vices and virtues we acquire through life. Self-knowledge clarifies to our own selves who we truly are! Just like a personal X Ray; whatever you will do with it depends solely upon you — but I assure: you can do a lot.
To be conscious is to perceive, be aware not only to what surrounds you but mainly and with equal importance to what goes on within.
The idea? Get to know our flaws, virtues and habilities — understand what we must and actually want to improve — what´s worth doing so — since we naturally have potentialities as well as limitations. It may not always be worth improving a flaw — we may be better off investing on a skill already developed.
To be self-conscious is to be aware of our own feelings and emotions; know to identify our sadness, our moments of weakness, anger and more important the reasons that lead us to those emotions. No easy task for sure, but it´s the only way to evolve emotionally.
When our relation with ourselves improve — it improves with all those surrounding us. As we have a better understanding of our limits, desires, excesses, obsessions and even traumas — we accept us and others, more. We become more flexible.
Knowing who we are makes it easier to know what it is we want in life and how to achieve it! It increases the perception of what really matters to us — thus we waste less time with unfunded worries, going straight to the point, to what we want.
How to become more self-conscious? Emotions and feelings are our best feedback instruments. A good analysis starts by analysing ourselves. Am I angry on a regular basis? Of whom, what and when? Do I feel like exploding or crying? What triggers that? Am I stressed, feeling uncapable of making things happen? What seems to threaten me and what am I comfortable with? Those are basic questions one should try to answer.
We do not (usualy) wake up on a sunny day feeling enlightened — we work towards that. Some things prevent us from that work, while some help:
1. Big Media wants to sell; its sensacionalism affects us negatively on a subconscious level. What we can do? Diminish our exposure to such vehicules — that applies to social media too.
2. We go out to have fun and drink too much — sleep late, unbalance ourselves. I´m not saying I never exceed, only that it might mean we are trying to escape from reality, thoughts and from anguish. Meditation and sports — maybe not as fun — have better effects and may be more productive — it´s worth a at least a trial.
3. To listen more is important in times when speaking is so easy — through social media, texting, etc.
4. The same is valid for observing. Realize how people react to you and the things you say, live or on the web, if you´re being too critical for example. I do not think we should shape ourselves by society but it might serve as an interesting mirror (even to tell you how much you want to be different and the price you are willing to pay for that)
5. Do not be afraid to change if you feel you need to, or want.
6. Spend time alone — traveling if possible; When we are home and go trough problems we just pick up the phone and call our friends. When traveling alone we have to deal with situations that require new ideas and therefore new insights eventually flourish. You will be surprised of how capable you are!
7. Try therapy even if for a while.
8. Ask people how you can be (and act) better. Be careful though, since each one has his or her own opinion and very often one can not express opinions without being agressive and over criticizing.
9. Analyze yourself as well as others with no emotions. Try to understand why you act the way you do, which moments you are most agressive and who takes you out of your balance. Usually the ones that affects us the most are the closest.
10. Forgive the past. We are so attached to it that sometimes we don´t perceive the present as it is.
11. Have a daily journal or blog (or you can do recordings) — even if just for you. That makes us think in a very deep fashion — besides it is an internal, personal, focused conversation with yourself.
Last but not least: understand we are not perfect by nature — some people are geniuses in one area and very restricted in others. Each experience we go through — good or bad — may contribute for us to evolve — as long as we want to! We all have the gift for good emotions and good feelings.
As we reach our potencial we access good emotions, flourish as a person — creating a positive chain that benefits whoever crosses our path! The habilities of self-conciousness, discipline and self-teaching when combined are a force of nature that transform you into whatever you wish.