An Exercise in Games Journalism
Here at PushToShout, we would never make unfounded claims about any person or company we cover. After all, we adhere strictly to the standards of integrity and would never want to mislead our faithful readership. Indeed, the time honored tradition of journalistic excellence includes a stalwart devotion to the public good: we ask the tough questions few others are brave enough to pose.
Is Hideo Kojima a Neo-Nazi sympathizer? Is Ben Kuchera a pedophile? Is Totalbiscuit a sleeper agent for the Islamic State? In the following piece, I will ask the hard-hitting, technically non-libelous questions our readers are dying to know the answers to or–at the very least–can’t resist clicking on.
Alleged Terrorist: Brianna Wu
“Detonate explosives at PAX…”
Brianna Wu, creator of the critically acclaimed Revolution 60, appears to be instructing terrorists to carry out an unspeakable act of terror at a gaming convention.
Space is at a premium in web journalism, so quoting and addressing the entirety of what Ms. “Wu” said (if that is her real name) would be too costly. If you take issue with this, please leave a comment explaining your position so that I may mark it as “spam” and block your IP.
Alleged Murderer: Errant Signal
“I had to punch him to death…”
Errant Signal, a.k.a Chris Franklin, a.k.a Campster, appears to have confessed to murdering a human being in real life on his Twitter page. There were a few more words in that tweet, but in my sincere judgement it doesn’t add any important context.
It’s time to stop letting white men control context. In our fast-paced 21st century world, we build our own context–our own values. In my objective opinion as a journalist: marginalized groups should cast off the yoke of oppression and build a new world from the ashes of the old.
Alleged Rapey Pervert: Patricia Hernandez
“Often we see breast physics…”
Again, I’ll spare you the rest. Here it appears as if Patricia Hernandez spends hours on end watching breasts jiggle in video games. She explicitly stated that “we” see them “often.” Does she have an accomplice? A partner in objectification?
An anonymous source alleges that Ms. Hernandez “spends literally all day looking at boobs, pausing only to shout at pigeons and castrate men.” For our source’s protection, I am unable to identify this credible informant, but he’s the same upstanding fellow who contributed the rest of this article’s information: so you know his word is solid.
Confirmed Doxxing Harrasser: SkippySigmatic
“We are a bunch of harrassers and doxxers…”
This time I don’t need to hedge my journalism with words like “alleged.” The proof is in the pudding. SkippySigmatic, long time commander of the #GamerGate movement (a jihad against gamers), admitted clear as day that he is a harasser and doxxer.
You might say: “But it was clearly a joke! He was being ironic.” Get real. We’ve heard this argument a million times here at PushToShout: it’s too outlandish to begin to refute. It’s a proven fact: GamerGate is beyond satire. If I’ve learned anything from my years of experience in this industry, as well as my alleged time at journalism school, it’s that human communication is always meant to be interpreted literally.
The insinuation that people could use “humor” to wrestle with complicated subjects is The Big Lie of our age. Know this: anyone who makes claims to “satire” is the lowest of the low. They will stop at nothing to lead you astray.
We’re better than that in this industry. Here in games journalism, we’re about facts. We’re about verbatim quotes. We believe in these values, and we know you do too. Close your eyes and rest easy. Have faith, and we will guide you to the truth.
