Both of my ex wives saw me as someone “with potential”. What they didn’t see is that I am constantly trying to better myself, but it wasn’t in the way they wanted. I work in IT and I’m a software developer now, but I got here old school. I started working support, then to testing and finally to programming. However, they wanted some yuppie type who always wore khakis and polo shirts and I’m a jeans and t-shirt guy and always will be (by the way, I’m 47). I still love video games and always will, but I’m up for new experiences when they come along. Women need to realize that sometimes we guys are already working on ourselves, but it may not be in the way that they want. That is on them, not on us. If you try to change a guy into something YOU want, do him a favor and find another guy, or he will just end up resenting you.