How to Learn From Your Mistakes
Create a “Not-To-Do List”
How many times have you created a to-do list and just become overwhelmed? How many times have you said, “I’m not doing that again.”
I used to think I should always work on my weaknesses. I think it was because I grew up learning the only person I could depend on was myself. Vulnerability is a key trait that I believe is essential for a fulfilling life, but that might be for another article.
The way I came to this conclusion is because I looked back into my past and created a “not-to-do list.”
Normally I would create a to-do list and prioritize from hardest to easiest and then by efficiency. I learned how to do that because I learned from my not-to-do list.
Think about it. How did you learn your limit for drinking? You went over the limit, multiple times! Hopefully, by now you’ve learned your tolerance. I can remember numerous occasions where I woke up and my head my banging. I just felt sick to my stomach. I was dizzy and didn’t want to do anything for the rest of the day. Then I started thinking, did that one night worth wasting an entire day? I cannot lie. Sometimes it was. I created memories with people I will never forget because of it. Also at the same time, I would have felt better if I slept early, be able to wake up and get somethings done. Maybe let my creativity grow, get some errands done, and have some more time to decompress and actually relax. I think I’m definitely the man who I am today because of my experiences and my reflections on those experiences.
On the other hand just for dichotomy and non-party/drinking example, have you ever thought that you had to act a certain way to get affection or attention that was inauthentic to your true self or en route to your goals? I know this, through experience, is a hard concept to grasp and apply, but I found out that one thing I truly want is freedom — financially, socially, and creatively. Then I started creating steps to reach this path. I started reading and listening to people and books about financial freedom. I learned about topics from real estate investing, social media influences, marketing, networking, stock market investing, writing, and human psychology. All these topics helped to communicate and express myself to strive for my goal. There were many times where I was just a follower to those around me because I didn’t have a solid role model when I was younger. Without going into too much detail, but I learned about groupthink from what I think is gang mentality to stereotypical society norms. The issue that I think is wrong with this type of grouping is people don’t take the time to dig deeper into individuals. I found the biggest nerds in stereotypical hardcore thugs. I found some of the angriest people who show the nicest exterior.
In an example for my not-to-do list, the cliche comes up, “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Just like the previous example, people can surprise you. At the same time, it doesn’t have to be so deep as the drinking example. Sometimes I need to limit myself to drink maybe two drinks max when I’m around a place I’ve never been. On the other hand, I can drink like five drink because I’m with a great set of people and I know that I will be taken care of. Everything falls into a case by case situation answer. Everything can work, you just have to figure out what works best for you. The biggest takeaway from this is to learn how to create a mental model that functions as a foundation for your decision making and creating a not-to-do list was a significant first step to building my foundation.
