Letter of Insanity to the Perpetrators of the Insane; and A Letter to My Senator(s)

if i seem unhinged it’s because i have a heart and this world is utterly insane. i’m offended, insulted, outraged. i can’t believe that people in our government and people across the country and all over the world continue to get away with treating human beings like they don’t matter.

i’ll serve that purpose better elsewhere, but this time of year always wracked my head and hurt my heart. i don’t need affirmations and affection, either. i just need to go SHIT, FUCK. GOD DAMMIT. SON OF A BITCH.

and if this/that is offensive, that’s the person i really am, that’s the writer i really am. i’m tired of seeing the look of defeat on the faces of other people, when i know that they are much more than that.

if i ever felt like the cause of that, i’ve always felt much, much worse.

but this is me articulating that strange insanity. in a strange and insane world, reflected only in the beauty of other people.

you’ve probably done stuff in the past few days. and if you’re reading this, i only hope it makes you feel better. considering all i’ve done is skip meals, read and research and cry. and go SHIT, FUCK. GOD DAMMIT. SON OF A BITCH. and talk to myself. as we’re seeing here. tra la la.

what i mean, is that you’re probably adapting a lot better than me. maybe you don’t think so. but you sure are. you’re beautiful. you’re cool. and you say cool things.

i’m gonna keep losing my mind, cursing, being obscene. driving you crazy. i might even have you delete me as a friend. still, i’ll make you laugh, cry, and remember one thing: yourself.

i see no other life purpose. as in, writing and music.

that, and ridiculing and criticizing everything these criminals stand for. those are my blood cells. they go Tweet Tweet.

and i’ll share that insanity with the hope it might make, like, my brother feel better about his life. or the other few people who never stopped believing in me.

i’m a writing machine. and i’m loaded with fire.

###

Dear Senator, [Pat Toomey and Bob Casey]

It’s with a heavy heart that I write to you about Defense and the Military, although I don’t see what my specific concern has anything to do with either of these. You see, I’m angry. Because, as an inhabitant of Philadelphia and the United States of America, I’ve been told to believe in a certain standard that is unparalleled with the rest of the world. While that might be true for this sub-section of law. I can’t ever recall reading anywhere that it should be codified onto the international stage that the U.S. should be arming any country that’s been criticized for human rights’ abuses.

So please forgive my ignorance in this matter.

You are my closest representative of this United States government. Continually, it has come to my attention that the State Department has been very active in selling numerous armaments and ballistic munitions to governments like Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait.

I want to know what purpose this could possibly serve? Especially after reading a fine article published in the Sigma Iota Rho (SIR) Journal of International Relations by an undergraduate student from the University of Pennsylvania, with the name of Daniel Loud.

The article is entitled “The Gulf Monarchies and Private Funding of ISIS”, and it was published April 4, 2016. Needless to say, its implications aren’t easy to swallow, considering a Fortune magazine article, published this same year, had the title of “U.S. Sold $33 Billion in Weapons to Gulf Countries in the Last Year.”

The latter-mentioned piece is clearly indicative of a foreign policy that is bordering on the brink of a loss of control. I’d be remiss not to bring it to your attention. For I am one and the same, since I live and work here. With these two aforementioned articles, it is glaringly obvious that U.S. intervention in trade deals with the Gulf countries is akin to the taxpayer of the country paying for … well, what. Exactly? Other than to boost the profits of Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon, General Dynamics, etc.

I can’t make light of any of this. And I’m wondering if it’s because I’ve become mentally and emotionally unstable, what with all this THINKING that these facts precipitate in my brain. Sir, we’re talking a loss of appetite. Not only that. But a strange phenomenon occurs, where a liquid coalescence forms at the corners of my eyes, where there are, I believe, tear ducts.

This is the only light I can make of this terrible tragedy which we are perpetuating onto the world. Sir, I urge you to take a look at a 10 year old Yemeni girl’s “pitch” to Western powers to cease immediately the bombing of her country via the culprit, one of our major, long-lasting U.S. allies in the region, Saudi Arabia.

Her country, Yemen — the country in which she lives — is being brutally decimated from the enabling of the U.S. State Department via the sale of arms and munitions purchased from U.S. defense contractors by a country that does not have a Constitution like we have, here in America. Surely, you understand the implications of selling arms and munitions to a country that is an oil-rich monarchy.

How can we, as American citizens, look to Yemeni children, of which nearly 1,000 children have died and nearly 1 million children have been displaced, in a war fought where thousands of civilians have been killed, assure her or anybody on the world stage that the very sale of arms and munitions to oil-rich monarchies that do not have laws like ours, that we are the shining beacon for the planet? Especially considering that those sales have indirectly contributed to Yemen’s humanitarian crisis, of which relief dollars will be required.

I urge you to confer with these companies to stop the selling of arms and munitions to Saudi Arabia, Oman, Bahrain, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates, and Qatar. If anything, maybe these companies would consider the “pitch” of this 10 year old Yemeni girl who wants Western powers to stop the funding, arming, and enabling of regimes that support and/or sponsor terrorism and/or commit terrorist acts on other populations.

Because what else can the murdering of 1,000 children be called?

Thank you for your time.

###

all i ate today was a pear, orange yogurt, three cups of coffee, and a few beers. and my own tears. forever. at night. and during the day. during my dreams.

as you sleep….