SATIRE

Why Men Should Hire Sex Workers

The honest relationship between a man and his sex worker

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Photo by Taras Chernus on Unsplash

You’ll have an honest relationship

When you date a girl, you don’t know what they want from you. For all you know, what you think is a date is secretly a booby-trap to get you into marriage. Has she even considered your feelings? All you want is something casual. But you wouldn’t realize everything you’ve done wrong until you’re saying your vows; by then, it’s too late.

You don’t have to commit

Commitment is hard. Our interconnected digital world has brought us too many fish in the sea; there are so many options. How do we choose a partner? There’s no way to know who’s best for us (until an algorithm solves this problem, preferably with machine learning because that’s what’s cool these days).

There are women who can make you feel more with their bodies and their souls, but these are the exact women who will turn the knife into you right in front of the crowd. Of course, I expect this, but the knife still cuts.

Fear not, because there’s an elegant solution in the form of a sex worker: they don’t ask for any commitment. Okay, fine, they want a little commitment; they might want you to see them again so you can pay them. Still better than the alternative.

You don’t play with anyone’s feelings

It’s easy for a guy to play with a girl’s feelings. Say goodnight once, and she thinks you’re into her; one date and she thinks you want to be her boyfriend; sex once and she expects you to love and marry her (especially the innocent ones).

Words @Atlassian. Based in Sydney. I have a lot of thoughts; here are the less crazy ones. bryanyewriter@gmail.com

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