I May Be Single for the Rest of My Life
I may be single for the rest of my life.
I know that may sound dark. I know that’s why you probably clicked on this article.
But I mean it.
I’ve been studying “pick-up” for 8 years and have never been in love.
I have yet to find someone I can’t stop thinking about because I actually like them. Because we actually have a connection.
Not because I like the thought of them. Or, because they’re there.
Is this my fault? Or Is it our current culture and generation?
I’m not one to blame. Actually, let me take that back. I’m not one to blame as much as I used to.
I don’t put myself out there enough. I make excuses to not go out because I’m introverted at heart.
My ideal night is smoking weed, reading, stretching, reading some more, and watching TV.
I’m not going to meet too many girls this way.
I also work full time. And I’m trying to build a personal brand (whatever the fuck that means).
This takes time and energy. A lot of it.
Recharging my batteries doesn’t involve going to a bar or club. I hate that shit.
👎Loud music and drunk people👎
I’ve gone through my stretches of going out 2-3 times a week.
I’ve gone through my stretches of approaching more girls than anybody you’ve ever known.
And I have nothing to show for it.
Again, part my fault and part our generation.
Have you seen what people value these days?
Social media followers > personality.
I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve met that judged me based on how many Instagram followers I had.
I’m not bashing girls. I’m not stereotyping (well, kinda). It’s not their fault.
We all fall into traps. That’s how our media, culture, and society are designed. That’s how people make money.
I don’t know how it got this way. I don’t know why. And I don’t know how to fix it.
Actually. I have a suggestion (more like a plea) — let’s throw away all electronics for a year.
We’d either go crazy then become sane. Or, go crazy and become more insane.
Anyway. I don’t have an Instagram anymore. When I did, I never looked at it.
That shit bored me. It actually gave me anxiety because I felt like I needed to check my feed because everyone else was. Because I didn’t want to be left out of the “did you see that?” on Insta conversation.
I have a hard time keeping up with the times. I have a hard time with Instagram and don’t get Snapchat.
Like, do you really think I care what you’re doing? I’m too caught up in my own bullshit.
I understand most people gain some sort of value (pleasure) from social media.
And honestly, I don’t want a girl who values my following more than my character. No matter how hot she is.
This means I have less options. Significantly less options. I might as well be Tom Hanks in Cast Away.
I’m becoming ok with this.
For many years now, I’ve been chasing. I’ve been approaching girls wherever I’m at, looking for the one.
I’ve approached girls at the gym, at the grocery store, in parking lots, at coffee shops, etc.
I’m not getting any younger. I’m turning 27 on August 21st.
I’ve been putting pressure on myself to find someone so I can start a family.
A girl flaked on me last week. This has become the norm.
I was hanging out with more girls when I had less social skills than I do now.
Again, part my fault and part era.
Despite my introvertedness, I’m more proactive than most guys.
But I’m also more miserable than them too.
I care too much about finding the one.
I reached the “fuck it" point after this girl flaked on me.
I’m tired of feeling high then low.
I’m tired of getting a girls number, agreeing to hang out, getting excited, then having her flake.
If I want more success, I should learn how to use Instagram and Snapchat.
But guess what?
That would make me more miserable. It’s not me.
I’m learning to accept this.
I know I’m coming off pessimistic. Negative. Or a complaining little bitch.
I get it. But I feel more positive than I’ve ever felt.
My best friend and I know too much about social dynamics, masculine energy, and female psychology.
We are better than most guys with girls. And yet, we’ve been struggling.
He had the same breakthrough as me.
He said, fuck it. I’m just going to have fun and whatever happens, happens.
And guess what?
He found someone. In the least likely place you can find someone:
He went to Vegas for his birthday last month (mid-June to be exact).
He met a girl and they had an instant connection. A connection he hadn’t felt in 7 years.
He’s continuing to talk to her despite the distance (he’s in California, she’s in Vegas).
Never in a million years, would I have thought he would be in a long distance relationship. Never!
This girl is different than the norm. She’s an outlier.
Her Instagram sucks and she barely uses Snapchat.
My favorite chick flick/romantic comedy of all time is 500 Days of Summer.
To summarize without replaying every scene because I’ve seen the movie more times than I can admit.
(Actually, I’ve probably only seen it like…5 times. But, it’s so engaging that I remembered most the details.)
The movie documents 500 days of ups and downs the main character (played by Joseph Gordon Levitt) experiences dating a girl he likes, but isn’t right for him.
On the 500th day, he meets a girl randomly, that he has a connection with.
He was proactive enough to ask her out. But wasn’t desperate enough to prowl the streets, bars, and clubs to find her.
That was a real rough summary. I definitely did not do the movie justice. So please watch it.
But, you get my point.
I’m still going to be proactive. I’m still going to approach a girl I find attractive at the gym. At work. At the store.
But I’m not going to hunt them down at bars, clubs, or the mall.
I’m not going to create an Instagram account and take pictures of myself doing “adventurous” shit.
I’m not going to take “snaps” of my food or gym selfies.
Of course I want a girl to love. To hold. To kiss. To feel. To talk and connect with.
But I can’t need it. Neediness will only attract neediness.
Times are different. The values of the market have changed.
I’m an outlier. I’m becoming ok with this.
I may be single for the rest of my life.
Do I really believe this?
No. Of course not.
I know I’m a catch. I know how cool I am.
But declaring, I may be single forever, always me to feel a peace that I don’t experience often.
A thought like this would scare most (you even). A younger me would’ve been scared as well.
Today, time scares me more than being single.
I’ve wasted too much of it on my dating life.
I have everything I need right now.
A hot girl who likes to chill at home, have deep conversations, go to Hip-Hop & R&B concerts, and eat at Woodranch, would be cool though.