Why We Love to Hate and Hate to Love The Bachelor

In case you missed it (because you are either on a ~digital detox~ or actually have a life), the 22nd season of The Bachelor ended in a two-part finale last week and the show’s fans/all of Twitter had a lot of emotions. During five hours of ABC primetime TV, audiences were repeatedly reminded by host, Chris Harrison, that they were watching the “most dramatic finale ever”…and, as it turns out, that statement may not have been absurdly hyperbolic.

Part 1 of the show began in a formulaic fashion — viewers watch the bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr, propose (and give out the final rose) to contestant Becca Kifrin while runner-up, Lauren Burnham, is sent home crying in a limo. However, that’s when, unlike previous seasons, the camera keeps rolling and all types of crazy break loose. A montage video of Arie and Becca enjoying a few weeks of engagement bliss (making pancakes, cuddling in a hammock, etc.) ends abruptly when Arie confesses to the camera that he can’t stop thinking about runner-up Lauren (say what?) and that he is going to end his engagement. In a move that revolutionizes reality TV (a.k.a. made everyone question the ethical boundaries of televised emotional exploitation), ABC decided to air the ensuing “unedited and uncut” 20-min breakup with DUAL CAMERA view. It was painful and protracted.

During Part 2, we find out that Arie and Lauren (new beau) are indeed together and towards the end he proposes to her in front of a live studio audience (that, according to their audience reactions, hates both of their guts). After the new couple is hurried off stage, Arie’s ex-finace, Becca is appointed the next Bachelorette. There were cheers. People were crying. WOW. What just happened?

How far is too far (in the name of entertainment?)

This year’s Bachelor finale was the fiery red cherry on top of a big bowl of bland vanilla ice cream. The two day emotional roller-coaster followed an uneventful season ushered along by a less-than-charismatic leading man, but, ultimately, it might have redeemed the show for its general lack of excitement during the previous weeks. Maybe it was a good play by ABC, but, if you’re like me, the whole finale (and the Twitter vitriol it inspired) had me questioning the moral limits of reality TV — how real is too real?

Additionally, it had me reconsidering my notions around the allure of reality TV in the first place. The bachelor is a carefully constructed television show, and even if the “feelings” are real (I think we can all agree this is very debatable), the production’s intent is to maximize audience entertainment. This begs the question, why do viewers love reality TV? And does The Bachelor’s most recent and daring journey into uncharted domains of schadenfreude say something about our proclivity for certain types of entertainment?

The United States of Reality TV

America’s reality TV obsession began in the late 1990s/early 2000s with competition shows like Survivor and American Idol. Quickly, however, more and more shows began following the day-in-the-life format, offering audiences exclusive glimpses into the lives of the rich and the privileged (Laguna Beach, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) and the peculiar and zany (Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty). The Bachelor series itself began in 2002 and has continued to gain momentum and popularity throughout the years — today the show has 5 spinoffs and hits weekly viewership numbers over 5 million.

As reality TV became increasingly popular, so did hating reality TV. Over the past decade, “trashy”, “low-brow”, and “guilty pleasure” have become common descriptors of the genre, even as viewership numbers have continued to climb. Many viewers even admit to “hate-watching” shows like Keeping Up with the Kardashians and Toddlers and Tiaras. So what makes us continue to watch hours of shows we know are downright bad. Is schadenfreude truly at the root of our obsession? Or is there maybe(hopefully) a more virtuous reason we tune in to American Idol week after week? Some recent insights from peronality and social psychology might have an answer.

An “Attainable” Status

One of the first studies conducted on this subject comes from Psychology Today in 2001 (I know that’s crazy long ago now.) The study presented participants with a questionnaire that evaluated them on a number of personality trait. What they found was that the quality that best separated average television viewers from reality TV viewers was their desire for status. Fans of of reality TV were much more likely to agree with with statements such as, “Prestige is important to me” and “I am impressed with designer clothes” than other participants. According to the authors of this study, this makes sense because reality TV gives Americans the opportunity to fantasize about gaining status through automatic fame. Ordinary people watching these shows could easily imagine a scenario where they too could become a celebrity on TV. And, viewers find the stars relatable and look up to them even if they are portrayed in an unfavorable light; the fact alone that millions of Americans are paying attention to them makes the role desirable.

Even though this study is close to 20 years old now, I still think there is still a lot of merit to it — it’s a fairly obvious assumption that people like to see themselves the characters in the media they consume (the biggest caveat here is that this only makes sense for shows like So You Think You Can Dance, American Idol, or even The Bachelor, where contestants more humble beginnings vs. shows like The Real Housewives where all of the stars are uber rich and have mostly been uber rich since birth). Additionally, it is an interesting notion to think about, considering the implications this theory could have on the recent backlash against the “Hollywood Elites” and this year’s less than stellar Oscar ratings.

Friends On Screen

A more recent article from Psychology Today interprets this penchant for reality TV stars in a different way. The author of this article suggests that “because reality programming has slowly and steadily dominated our screens, and because we are so exposed to these characters than ever before, they become, in a sense, our friends.” She expounds upon that idea by further explaining how social media has radically changed the way in which we interact with people and the way we experience friendship. We now feel connected to friends we haven’t seen for years (cough cough…exes we stalk) because we can see and interact with portions of their lives through social platforms. And, isn’t the exact same thing true for reality TV stars? Not only do we follow their lives on screen, but we also follow their social media accounts. We (think) we know everything about even the most intimate parts of their lives and this breeds a sense of friendship. We gossip about them at the office, we like their Instagram photos, and we get emotional when they go through big life events like having a child or getting married. Because of technology (and specifically social media), the very definition of modern friendship has shifted and this may be having an impact on the way in which we watch television. Again, the more relatable a star is, the more likely viewers are to connect and develop that sense of intimacy. The TV ratings follow.

Social Comparison

Unfortunately, human beings aren’t 100% virtuous and noble and it would be naive to think that we’re all watching reality TV because we want to emulate or be friends with the characters we see on screen. Rather, there may be evidence that viewers may actually get pleasure out of watching reality TV because the failures and misfortunes of these stars actually make them feel better about themselves. In the article, “Publicized Intimacies on Reality Television: An Analysis of Voyeuristic Content and its Contribution to the Appeal of Reality Programming” published in the Journal of Broadcasting and Electronic Media, the authors contend that we learn about our own abilities and attitudes by comparing ourselves with other people. This idea is called Social Comparison Theory and it can help us self-monitor and self-evaluate our own conduct.

Reality TV can be especially rewarding for viewers because comparing ourselves to someone who is worse than we are in any particular trait or ability is both a self-protective and self-enhancing strategy — downward social comparison via The Jersey Shore or Teen Mom offers a nice ego boost (I know, humans are terrible). In contrast, upward social comparison — comparing ourselves to someone who is unequivocally better off than we are (think Laguna Beach or Vanderpump Rules) can offer us something to aspire to. Either way, our voyeuristic tendencies reality TV and our perceptions/explanations about other people’s behavior might actually offer us a better understanding of ourselves.

Empathy

Finally, (because I don’t want to end the article on a low note) there may be evidence that watching reality TV isn’t only enjoyable because it makes us feel better about ourselves at the expense of someone else. In fact, it may have more to do with with empathy rather than humiliation and “hate-watching”. A recent study from the Journal of Media Psychology surveyed 183 participants about 12 different reality shows including well-known productions such as Big Brother, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, and Super Nanny. In the survey the authors asked about things like interest in reality TV shows, attitudes towards them, and interest in participating or interest in a family member participating. The authors found that, although interest in participating in reality shows was not very high, the more that participants said they enjoyed the shows, the more likely they were to say that they’d like to participate, or for a loved one to participate. The authors conclude because the correlation between enjoyment and willingness to participate is positive, empathy must be the core driver.

So have we discovered the reason reality television is so alluring to millions of Americans (and the reason I once devoted a whole rainy Saturday to watching Dance Moms)? I don’t think so…and i’m not sure any one explanation will ever justify the billions of hours lost to watching first kisses and fist pumps. However, these studies do offer an interesting window into our collective psyches and provide some evidence that, despite the genre’s lack of critical acclaim, these shows provide meaningful value and a new way for people to connect and share their stories.