39/300: What are you recovering from right now?

lack of intellectual stimulation. and from not getting enough sleep.

but that second one is universal, isn’t it? no expansion needed on that topic.

thankfully, i’m on vacation right now, which accounts for the “recovery” component of the equation. it feels good to remove work, worry, and scheduling from my days. it also gives me the opportunity to make amends for the aforementioned lack of intellectual stimulation. time to read. to engage with my own brain.

my work is so menial and the result is the slow shrivelling of my capacity for curiosity. nothing breaks the brain down more than banal tasks repeated over and over again.

ad nauseam.

ad nauseam.

ad nauseam.

in some ways i’m lucky to have a job that only tires the body and not the mind. but it’s amazing how a tired body saps a curious brain, demanding rest before thought, sleep before creativity.

don’t get me wrong: i take responsibility for my own lack of effort to stimulate my intellectual capacities.

but i will say that stimulation begets stimulation. exposure to new thoughts, new ideas, and new challenges — at least for me — gets the wheels spinning. neurons fire more assuredly, my mind is sharper, cleaner. there’s an edge to it when i am intellectually engaged.

my job doesn’t do that for me. and it’s ok, it’s not permanent. i know what i want, and what i need, and things will change. soon.

for now, i’ll try to use these two weeks off to re-engage my grey matter. a tune-up, if you will.

let’s go read a book.