Tell Me More About How Much You Hate Millennials, You Old Fart
Ellie Guzman


We old fucks don’t give much thought to younger people. We know you have energy and enthusiasm that will always trample any and all defects of youth.

We worry whether our tweezers left a wirey hair curling out of the tip of our nose, or that you want to take a machete to our disgusting forest of ear hair. Oh, and the flat ass, the atrophied ass of old age — that is something we have to sit on. That washboard ass!

“Mutha fuck,” said the black man, laughing hard, looking at my feet at the gas station. I looked down and had one black and one brown shoe on of the same make and model.

We need magnification to see and pills to pee.

We don’t hate you. We once were you.

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