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Those of us who practise Buddhism or love Buddhist teachings may have found it difficult to share or ‘teach’ Buddhist principles to our kids. This is understandable given that the intellectual level of an average Buddhist discourse can be extremely lofty indeed.

In my experience over the last ten years as a tutor, mentor and teacher I have found that the following tips were extremely helpful when sharing the dharma with my younger students.

TIP 1: CULTIVATE QUALITIES IN YOURSELF THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE IN YOUR KIDS

Conversations around Buddhist concepts are usually so abstract and philosophical that many adults, let alone children, have trouble grasping their simple and profound meaning. Most kids would probably rather be watching TV or playing on a computer, tablet or phone than sit and listen to a lecture on Dharma.

So, my advice to you is simple. Don’t lecture your kids on Dharma! Don’t directly ‘teach’ concepts and theory at all. Instead, try to embody the principles, qualities and virtues taught by the dharma that you would see cultivated in your children. Buddhism is, after all, an alive and ongoing process. It is very much a living evolving tradition — your embodiment of your understanding will speak far louder than any words ever could.

Ultimately as a parent, it is you, who you are, how you are and what you do that has the most impact on your kids. If you want to share the dharma with them, then the first place to really make a difference is to look to your own personal dharma practise. Work at it daily — with a light heart, and a light step — in order to cultivate the virtues you yourself most appreciate and value.

By working on your own practices you are much more able to naturally and spontaneously transmit the dharma to your kids moment by moment.

TIP 2: KEEP IT SIMPLE, FUN & CREATIVE

Another way to help you more easily share the Dharma with your kids is to use a method I have often used to plan a lesson for a classroom activity. I have adapted it here specifically to help with teaching dharma to your own children.

The first step is to boil your personal practice and understanding down to the simplest of expressions. In other words, try to approach the dharma as a child might — in simple and concrete terms that avoid too much conceptual speculation.

First, meditate and contemplate on what Buddhism and the Dharma mean to you. Next, write down on a piece of paper what you feel the most important qualities of a Buddha are. Then try to use only one word to describe those qualities so that you make it even simpler.

Here is my list of when I last did this exercise:

• Compassionate (love for one’s self and others, empathy for others)
• Mindful (attention and concentration, the present moment, appropriate action)
• Patient (calm, peaceful, not prone to acting heedlessly due to strong emotions)
• Real (Authentic, natural and true to reality ‘as it is’)
• Adaptable (impermanence, always bear in mind that things are constantly in flux)
• Aware and reflective (Internally aware of emotions and thoughts, externally aware of my surroundings, taking note of what the attention is doing)
• Reasonable (Able to reason for one’s self, has discernment, can decide what is true and what is not true, can see what is harmful and what is beneficial)
• Generous (Shares, gives and allows fully without expecting a ‘return’)

Now that I have my list I can start thinking of creative and fun activities that help to cultivate these qualities.

For example, if I wanted to help my kids develop their ‘mindfulness’ and ‘awareness’ I could start colouring in creative colouring books together. This trains one’s concentration in a relaxed and fun way. No need to do formal meditation — just simple, fun and creative.

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If I wanted to develop compassion and empathy for others, then my family could volunteer at a local animal welfare. We could exercise with the dogs and groom the cats. Kids love being with animals and it’s a fun compassionate activity that benefits the whole community with a tremendous opportunity to learn about generosity, patience and empathy in a natural straightforward way.

Let’s say that I wanted to develop “Realness”. Perhaps when my kids ask me about death I wouldn’t try to change the subject. I would be open about it, talk about it and acknowledge death as a natural part of life. How about sex? The same sense of authenticity could shine through my responses.

Encouraging “reasonableness” could be done by always explaining why something was wrong, or forbidden. By never punishing your kids unless they first understand why, they develop the capacity to reason, empathise and take responsibility for appropriate action in the future.

Once your list is in place it becomes a pleasure to think of creative ways to develop the qualities of a Buddha together as a family.

These simple tips have helped me through the years and they can hopefully help some of you to cultivate many a young Buddha for years to come.

Have your own ideas? Leave a comment below.

all feedback is most welcome

Originally published at buddhaempire.com.