“ There’s no spectrum of nuance for why people might expose themselves.”
Charlotte Shane

Jenny: Given UR free wheeling writing style, which is seemingly unabashed at talk about human genitals, I assume that you will not take umbrage at my recounting below, in comments, the verbal relating of text of which I first heard many years ago, about… “The Man With the Corkscrew Penis”.

He was born in West Texas during the heyday of oil selling at a premium high per barrel. His parents, uneducated and never quite assimulated into even a lower middle class caucasian American lifestyle, were nevertheless incredibly wealthy. Their wealth the result of farm land, handed down from hardscrable farmer to even more beaten down farmer heirs, was sitting on an ocean of oil.

Great luck, one might say. However being lucky in life, on the one hand, does not predict luck in all aspects of life and their unluck came due for the wealthy couple with the birth of their first child.

Named Peter, in a baptism in their fundamentalist Baptist church, their son was a beautiful infant seemingly perfect except for one very rare and unlikely birth defect. His penis was unduly large and came to a point without having the usual mushroom tip normally found on a penis.

More outlandish however was that, while it was of a length that was within a measure that fell within the limits of normal for a new born male infant, it was about three times the normal thickness. This was occaissioned by a thick spiral ridge that wound around the penis, base to tip, in a right hand threaded screw like fashion.

Needless to say, on the advice of their local doctor, the parents took Peter to a renouned Urology specialist hoping that he might be able to fashion a normal looking and sized peter for Peter. The Urologist’s advice however was, “ be patient, a day will come when Peter will be able to benefit from a penis transplant and live a normal sex life”. (That day however did not materialize until in 2016.)

Meanwhile, Peter’s very religious parents were not unhappy with either Peter, whom they considered to be a gift to them from God, nor with Peter’s penile situation which they considered to some how also to be a gift to Peter from God, which was yet to manifest its benefits to him.

As it was, Peter’s penis was serving its primary purpose as a tube to allow him to pee and he had a happy early childhood with it, as it was, until one morning, after having had a wonderful dream he awakened to find his PJ pants soiled with a sticky fluid.

Following that he would get strange feelings in his loins and he just knew that if he could somehow just be able to manipulate his very unwieldy penis he would be able to re-experience that wonderful feeling that he had experienced in his dream.

Peter went to his father with his situation and Dad handled it in time honored West Texas fashion. His father took Peter to the local brothel. There, despite an ample supply of vaginas of various sizes, Peter’s peter could just not find a suitable and usable size and configuration of vagina for his penis to successfully utilize.

Peter fell into a deep depresssion to the point where he considered suicide.

Seriously alarmed by Peter’s psychological state, his parents engaged a top notch Search Firm to search the world for the possibility of locating a female with a Cork Screw vagina that might accomodate Peter’s penis. Surprisingly, they located a young miss, who was so constructed. She lived in a small village in Borneo.

Peter’s father immediately contacted the girl’s father and offered him a very substantial dowery if the girl would be allowed to marry Peter. He did however make a point of the “bride price” being contingent on receiving an email photo of the young ladies vaginal interior so as to be able to ensure that the young couple to be would have a fit.

Now, as unluck would have it Video tapes and Tape Players had just come into vogue and the family purchased the most expensive Tape Player that money could buy. They acquired a variety of movie tapes, to be played, to while away the time, until the girls requested photo would become available at which time it would fall to Peter, who while looking at his penis would also examine the girls email vaginal photo to try to establish compatability.

The movie tape that Peter chose for the very first viewing was the great chariot racing movie, “Ben Hur”. He was engrossed in the spinning of the chariot wheel during the sequence where in the blade centered in his opponents wheel is trying to rip out the movie protagonist’s chariot wheel spokes.

So engrossed in the movie was Peter that it never occured to him that he was watching wheels turning backward in the film and at that point Peter’s Dad directed Peter’s attention to the girl’s e mail photo that had just arrived on the nearby desktop computer.

Peter let out an anguished cry, ran over to the gun cabinet, and grabbing a loaded shot gun …shot himself in his head.

It has been assumed since that Peter, fogged by depression medication and confused by the direction of the spinning chariot wheels going backwards, misread the positive vaginal image in the static photo as that… the vaginal corkscrew threads turned the wrong way.