Building relationships that works
RELATIONSHIPS THAT GLORIFIES GOD
Are you in a relationship?
Do you know you are in a relationship whether you like it or not?
Do your relationships glorify God?
Let’s talk about all the issues: possibilities and impossibilities in relationships
Why do some relationships fail? And why do some succeed?
Do you know God has tried all the possible ways to be in a relationship with you?
NOTE: Relationship is 360. we relate to different people, things and issues at the same time. For instance, an individual relates to family, friends, accademic/studies, among others at the same time.
Introduction
A relationship refers to a connection, association, a bond, link or tie. Relationships only exist between two or more parties for instance, between a deity and human, between human to human, and human and things. In actual fact, the world is built on relationship. Things in the world are connected to each other; everybody is connected to somebody and or something. Relationship is so essential that it cannot be avoided: everybody has a part to play. Relationships start from the beginning of an individual’s life even to the end, our lives revolve around relationships. Every aspect of the human life speaks relationships.
As an individual, you have to relate with God, family, friends, physical environment, economy, job/career, children and even enemies all at once. Even countries relates to one another through ambassadors or representative in surrounding countries, games, establishing and following same or similar policies, interdependent on each other in terms of resources, technology and labor; and also supporting each other in times of difficulties like disasters, epidemics, economic down turn, among others. Relationships are very important; nothing was created to live in isolation basically that’s a fundamental reason why you find creation in pair. Relationship cuts across all aspects of human life.
Taking a very close look at relationships, you realize that:
Even God seeks to build relationships with human beings and this should tell us how relevant, how important relationships are. There are two major categories of relationships: relationships you chose to enter from your own will and the relationships you just find yourself in whether you like it or not.
The first principle of a successful relationship irrespective of their category is that relationships have two-way flow of information ( ) and not one-way ( ). Two-way communication in the sense that, there should be an input from one party and a feedback from the other(s), a one way communication will lead to catastrophe or breakdown of the relationship. Every successful relationship has a successful communication.
The pillars for every good relationship are God, good communication and united understanding.
In relationships you are likely to get a similar feedback based on your input. For instance, if people living in a particular community decided not to keep their surrounding clean by littering the environment with all kinds of filth or dirt like (dumping foodstuffs anywhere anyhow, pouring dirty water anywhere, unclear drainage systems, among others) overtime, the surrounding will beginning to give a similar feedback based on their input such as bad odors, breeding of mosquitoes, flies, etc. which might lead to sicknesses like malaria, cholera, among others).
Relationship is from the word relations or relate.
There are five practical ways relationships can be formed, started or initiated:
(1) By blood, for example, a blood relation can be parents or other family members like brother, sister, uncle, among others
(2) By words, for instance a boy or a girl can become friends by proposing friendship to each other, or a husband and wife that has communicatively agreed to be married and have family of their own has built a relationship basically by words. In this kind of relationship, what bind the parties are words and when both parties stick to their word and communicate effectively with each other and there’s understanding, the relationship is bound to be successful. But the reverse is true.
(3) By action,
This is a very sensitive aspect of relationship that most people don’t put into careful consideration. Actions like words are communicative tools that are very sensitive and should be carefully selected like words. There is a saying that says “actions speak louder than words” this tells you how sensitive actions are; “they speak volumes” of things you intend to and not to say. For instance, you can start a relationship by giving gifts, caring, laughing, smiling or helping each time the other party of the relationship comes around.
But for a successful relationship depending on the type of relationship, actions may also not be the best to look out for. What you should look out for is the motive or intention behind the actions. People do what they do for a reason (bible says as a man thinks in his heart, so is he) know no man after the flesh, the motive is what you should check out. In checking out for motive, you should be careful to avoid misunderstanding or misinterpretations of things too, it’s quite delicate. God and Time has proven to be the best teller or revealer of truths. God wants us to trust in Him than our lovers, friends and families, environment or nation or wealth. God wants your highest trust to be in Him.
There are no other complicated relationships like that which involves human beings. For a relationship to succeed there has to be an understanding and agreement between parties involved. The strength of the agreement or bond or commitment will determine the strength of the relationship. You see, the hearts of human beings are so deep that you cannot fathom or understand, people can say things or promise things they know they are not ready to do (Matthew 15:8). Listen but don’t believe mere words or actions because they might be deceitful. Instead check out the intentions or motives behind the words and actions of the other party. God wants us to be wise as serpents by been sober and vigilant.
(4) Location
For instance, I have personally lived in different locations and attended different schools. Have always had one friend or the other in every location and schools I find myself, and intentionally or unintentionally, as I change locations and schools my friends too change, I get to meet different people hence, different friends. Relationships can start based on location. You can experiment this by relocating: relocating can give you opportunity to meet classmates, colleagues at work, someone or people who had just moved into an apartment or area, among others.
(5) Preference or will:
This talks about the fact that as an individual you have the will power to determine who should or should not be in relationship with you. But this is limited because you cannot choose who your blood relations or family members should be. Because of the will power in relationships, some people have turned down certain they don’t want to be in for some reason or the other.
According to the bible in Genesis, God had a relationship with man in the Garden of Eden, where God comes regularly to visit man and have fellowship with man in the garden before sin separated humanity from God (Genesis 3:8).
The amazing thing is after the fall of man into sin, God has tried to build relationships with humanity in all the five ways listed above. Let’s check it out:
(1) By blood:
God sent his only son to shed his blood in other to build a long lasting eternal relationship with humanity. By blood, the blood of Jesus Christ is to cleanse us from every sin and cleans us pure enough to stand before God by grace.
(2) By words: In the same John 3:1, God speaks to us (humans) about his love for us and His eternal intentions. And by words He has given us his promises, laws and covenants. God spoke to people of old, He is speaking to you now, and He will continually speak His words by the Holy Scriptures and His spirit. God speaks in different ways (through His servants, dreams, visions, etc. and to hear God speak we have to be alert in the spirit.
(3) By action
To build a good relationship with humanity, God didn’t just give us His words, He backed it by a strong action, and He gave his only son for the redemption of humanity. It would have been so easy for God if he gave one of his sons but rather gave His only son. You see, the strength of a relationship is determined by the level of sacrifices and commitments made by parties involved in the relationship.
In the same way, God is requiring of you to forsake anything that will prevent you from serving Him. God expects you to be radical about your salvation and not to take lightly (fight the good fight of faith). So Jesus said if your eyes will cause you to sin, plug it off or get rid of it and if your hand will cause you to sin, cut it off… for it is better to enter the kingdom of heaven with one eye and one hand that to enter into hell or eternal destruction with both eyes and hands(…..).
This tells you how radical God wants you to be with your salvation and that is your part of the relationship. If you can keep your part of the relationship, then eternity with God or in heaven is assured. The issue is you cannot obey God without the help of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit plays a vital role in our walk with God on earth. He is our teacher, helper, guardian, among others (….)…And it is through the strength of Christ that we can do all things.
(4) By location
God we know is a spirit (john 4:24) but he has stepped out of eternity into time in search for you and I (John 3:16). God is on earth looking for people who will serve Him, love and worship Him (John 4:23). In actual fact, He is searching for you in person, He cares so much that He knows you by name and He even know you so well than you know yourself, to know yourself better you need to connect with Him, He is ever ready to build a close personal relationship with you. As you are reading this written, He is already standing at the door of your heart knocking (Revelation 3:20) He is longing to be your closest friend; He is ready, willing and able to be your friend, father and God.
God wants to be a part of you; He wants to dwell in you in your body because he can if you allow Him (1 Corinthians 3:16) in fact, you and I, our bodies was made for God and God cares so much about it (1 Corinthians 6:13–20). Do you know if you accept Jesus Christ and live your daily life according to his will you become one in spirit with Him? (1 Corinthians 6:16–17) and if you have Him in you, no matter any situation of life you find yourself in good or bad he will be with you always.
(5) By will/preference:
God has chosen to be in relationship with humanity by His own will. He called Abraham His friend, David a man after His heart, He called Israel His nation and the people of Israel is own people. And today by the work of Jesus Christ God is calling you and me His son and daughter. God has chosen from the depths of His heart to be in an everlasting relationship with you and me. For God to regard you as His son/daughter and not just His creation, you need to make a first step of accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior by confessing Him into your Life.
The prayer below will help you accept Jesus Christ into your life:
Dear Lord Jesus, I believe you are the son of God, sent by God to shed your blood on the cross for the forgiveness of sins. I ask you to come into my life and be my Lord and savior, cleans me of every sin that I have committed and please write my name in the book of life. I believe you died on the cross, shed your blood, I believe you died and resurrected on the third day, I believe you ascended to heaven and you are now seated at the right hand side of God the father and I believe you will be coming back for your own people of which am part in Jesus name. Amen!
by: Andrew F. Dosunmu
