Harry Potter – A Self-Help Guide?
“Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them… Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself… soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.”
J.K Rowling

Ever asked someone how their day has been and then had them proceed to list off everything that has gone wrong with their day?
As human beings we are driven to feel connected to people, we do this through different ways:
- Empathy
- Storytelling
- Validation
But is this always a good thing?
The likelihood is when this person told you how awful their day has been that you met their list of problems with a list of your own. You see we wanted them to feel that we understood, we displayed Empathy to their situation, so we found common ground, albeit one bathed in negativity.
We also wanted to fulfil our love for Storytelling; you see everyone loves talking about themselves. I do it and you do it, not through any particular narcissism, it’s just that it’s easier to talk about what you know (yourself) that to find out about what you don’t (others).
Finally we have Validation, tell someone they are right and instantly they’ll feel valued and important. They tell you that their day was shit and you instantly agree that yours has been shit too, you may have actually been having a perfectly fine day but your urge to connect with people has you matching their problems stride for stride.
We are trying to help each other but in fact we are pulling each other down.
So this is where the Dementors metaphor comes in…
When J.K Rowling was writing Harry Potter she was suffering from severe depression, “The Dementors” were a symbol of this that she conjured up to give her thoughts an identity, perhaps feeling that they would be easier to confront if she could label them.
“they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them… Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you.”
See how this relates pretty well to my example?
Without realising you may have become a “Dementor” yourself.
So how do we get ourselves out of this vicious cycle?
We instead take on a positive mindset. Instead of looking for the faults in our day we celebrate the little wins that we take for granted.
- Went to sleep with a roof over your head? WIN!
- Healthy enough to be able to walk instead of drive? WIN!
- Actually have a job that puts food on the table? WIN!
I’m not saying to go round telling people how perfect your life is, but becoming a beacon of positivity shines onto other people. Instead of pulling others down you should endeavour to help them rise up.
However this won’t always work, there will always be “Dementors” around you, people who “drain, peace, hope and happiness out of the air around them”. They may come disguised as partners, family members, friends or work-colleagues. It’s likely they weren’t always that way (okay, some were!) but growing older does funny things to people, cynicism is generally acquired through ageing and pessimism through witnessing years of doom and gloom newspaper articles, tv-shows and perceived political and social injustices.
It’s been pretty widely stated that we are a product of our own environment, the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Therefore it stands to reason that if you spend all of your time with “Dementors” that you are likely to become one yourself.
Therefore if we wish to escape that grasp we need to protect ourselves from them, Harry Potter has his Patronus (a stag that charges down and scares away The Dementors). In the real world we have something else we can use, what is known as a “Filter Bubble”.
The concept was created by a man named Eli Parisier, a “Filter Bubble” is a personal world we create for ourselves based on the company we keep, the things we like, share, see and read, the beliefs we hold and our past experiences. Controlling what enters this bubble will have a HUGE impact upon how we view the world around us and the proceeding actions and thoughts that drive you.
Let in the wrong people and the wrong ideas and it will mould you accordingly, negativity breeds negativity, positivity breeds positivity. Banish the negative bullshit from entering your Filter Bubble and suddenly things look a lot brighter.
So to set yourself up for success I want you to do the following:
1. NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS HOW YOUR DAY WAS – Think about what has been good about it, no matter how small, then talk about that.
2. REFRAME YOUR THOUGHTS – If you find yourself blaming others, or feeling sorry for yourself, ask if it is really as bad you are making out? Usually the answer is no, the only certainties in life are death and taxes, everything else is just a product of your thoughts and actions.
3. LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN PEOPLE – Seeing the world in a positive light starts with actively changing how you see others, we LOVE to judge and talk about others faults. But at the end of the day that says more about you than it does about them, look for the good in others and they’re more likely to show it.
I hope you have found this article interesting (and if you haven’t then just use that positive mindset of yours and find the good in it……nice font maybe?!).
I’d like to finish with a quote I managed to find on the old Google’Machine, someone has always said it better than I could hope to so better off borrowing from them than conjuring up my own.
“Keep your THOUGHTS positive because your THOUGHTS become your WORDS,
Keep your WORDS positive because your WORDS become your BEHAVIOUR,
Keep your BEHAVIOUR positive because your BEHAVIOUR becomes your HABITS,
Keep your HABITS positive because your HABITS become your VALUES,
Keep your VALUES positive because your VALUES become your DESTINY!”
Mahatma Gandhi
