The self-care business is booming.
Everywhere I look, there are tips, products, TED talks and social media posts about the importance of self-care, and the consequences of not getting enough.
I have nothing against self-care, per se. I took a recent quiz entitled “How High Maintenance Are You?” and scored almost embarrassingly high. Truth is, I like my massages, my freshly manicured nails and my complicated lattes. I enjoy my boutique barre classes and my afternoon walks.
I’m here, however, to share an alternative, possibly divisive, viewpoint, which is this:
Let’s focus less on our increasing need for self-care, and more on creating lives we don’t need to escape from in the first place. …
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
I’m a writer and a maker. More specifically, I create content for my two sites, contribute here on Medium, as well as create physical and digital products for my Etsy shop.
Like most people, I find it difficult to separate who I am from what I do. My work is my passion. I’m captivated with not just the results, but the work itself.
It pushes me, challenges me, and makes me who I am. Or does it?
As a culture, we tend to define ourselves, and each other, by our careers and interests. When we first meet someone, “what do you do?” is the usual go-to question. When we run into someone we haven’t seen in a while, it’s natural to ask about the person’s career or other notable pursuits. …
“Every day is a new day, and ultimately, I have to figure out what works each day.” -Nathan Chen
I sit down with my calendar and plan out the next few weeks. I schedule in kids’ activities, workouts, writing, blogging, marketing, meal prep-all those tasks that need a slot in my schedule if I want them to get done.
This is, after all, what life coaches, business advisors and productivity experts recommend. Schedule your days to make the most of them.
Many of you do this too, I imagine. And it’s all well and good, of course, except there’s one inherent problem with this lifestyle: we stop paying attention to what we really need. …
I’ve always considered myself more of a blogger than a writer.
I do believe, though, bloggers are absolutely writers.
I will admit, of course, there are differences.
Blogging is definitely one type of writing, but to find success as a writer, on platforms other than blogs, you do have to switch your focus and technique a bit.
I’ve been blogging for about a decade, and have had my blogs monetized for about eight years. Monetization comes in the form of two major categories: ads and sponsored posts.
Very recently, I joined Medium and decided to see how and if those blogging skills would translate to success on this platform. …
I’ve found myself doing it a lot this week.
Last night, for instance, I scrolled through years of messages and images on my Facebook feed. The night before that, I had a dream involving an old college friend I no longer speak to.
In short, I’ve been in a nostalgia spiral, of sorts.
I’ve been thinking of past relationships and friendships, the minutiae of which is lost in the mists of time. The gist of it, though, is this: I’ve been mourning people and relationships no longer in my life. And it hurts.
Maybe this is you, too?
Maybe you hold onto past relationships longer than you should, living in the past and regretting what could have been. …
A good friend invited me to her new home this morning for coffee.
The new home is about double the square footage of her last place, and she was having trouble figuring out the placement for some of her furniture, art and accessories.
After about an hour of deliberation, moving things around, and creatively using pieces already in her possession, we relocated several key pieces of furniture and art, and hopefully came up with something both visually appealing and functional.
My friend is remarkably creative and has a great eye for color and design, but, sometimes, it takes a fresh pair of eyes to view things in a new way. …
I’m talking to a good friend about how life has changed since Coronavirus.
It honestly feels good to state out loud and acknowledge how our quality of life has decreased in this era of COVID. Our jobs, kids, schooling, summer plans…nothing is safe, and there seems to be no end in sight.
I’m betting you can empathize.
My friend, however, did not. “Let’s look at the bright side! You are so lucky for so many reasons. Let’s focus on that, instead!”
She had good intentions, but her false cheer rubbed me the wrong way.
Turns out, there’s a name for it. …
A close friend and I each have a milestone birthday this year.
To celebrate, we planned a girl’s weekend getaway. Good food and wine, shopping, and quality time were all on the agenda, and I was looking forward to it.
Leading up to our trip, though, I started to feel anxious about the particulars.
Specifically, the packing and planning for myself, but also all the necessary preparations for my husband, two kids and work obligations. Going out of town, it would appear, takes no small amount of organization.
It all worked out, of course, and my friend and I had a wonderful time. The experience reminded me of a powerful happiness paradox, though: while we often seek to control our lives, it’s novelty and challenge that are the true building blocks of satisfaction. …
About ten years ago my aunt won tickets to see Elton John in concert. Not being able to use them herself, she gave them to my husband and I to use.
I don’t remember much of the concert, but I’ll never forget hearing Elton belting out some of the best-known songs out there-Rocket Man, Tiny Dancer, Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road…these are a few of his greatest hits and, most likely, the highlight of the show for many.
Did he perform some of his lesser-known, less-popular songs? I’m sure he did, but they’re not what stand out in mind. …
There’s a popular legend of unknown origin called The Story of Two Wolves. It goes like this:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil — he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good — he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. …